But she didnt!!! she didnt!!! she didnt!!!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

So much for optimism. I feel pessimistic and the bitterness is starting to taste in my mouth and even though I'm trying to swallow all the sweetness there is but so far, none could get rid of the resentment and harsh realities that I have to face.


and that's what sucks! I know that when you have tried and then you pray for the outcome, its so easy to simply say, oh Tawakkal but the practicality of Tawakkal is so much harder to adopt and adapt and then to practise!


Its also so easy to say to people oh Sabar but when it comes back to me, I freeze because I expected something else since at the back of my mind I'm already holding on. Surely there must be some other words out there that could comfort me when I'm losing a battle :'(

December Spring Cleaning

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

The reasons why I don't like cleaning up and turning my room upside down are:

1. My house is hot and I really want all round air-conditioning!
2. I get sweaty hence I get severe rashes on my body therefore my skin itches and burn!
3. I tend to want everything too much organized that it hurts my head to think on HOW best to organize all those stuffs!
4. I am allergic to heat and dirt, yes, it is true!
5. Most of the time, I just don't know where to start!

It's really frustrating that I am a sucker for clutter, sigh~

Salam Maal Hijrah 1432

Pray

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

Justin Bieber - Pray

Ohh Ohh
I just can't sleep tonight.
Knowing that things ain't right.
It's in the papers, it's on the TV, it's everywhere that I go.
Children and crying.
Soldiers are dying
Some people don't have a home

But I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain
Hey... can you tell me how I can make a change?

I close my eyes and I can see a brighter day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray

I lose my appetite, knowing kids starve tonight.
When I sit up, cause my dinner is still on my plate.
Ooo I got a vision, to make a difference.
And it's starting today.

Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain
Can you tell me how I can make a change?

I close my eyes and I can see a brighter day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray for the broken-hearted.
I pray for the life not started
I pray for all the ones not breathing.
I pray for all the souls in need.
I pray. Can you give em one today?

I just can't sleep tonight.
Can someone tell me how to make a change?

I close my eyes and I can see a brighter day
I close my eyes and pray
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and I pray


I dedicate this song to the people of Palestine and I rather be there than where I'm posted but actions speak louder than words. Besides, I will cry. It will make me stronger perhaps?




Another point comes to mind is that if I want something so bad, I gotta pray a lot, and lots of praying. At one third of the night perhaps? It is the school holidays...