Interesting Observations.

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



1. A person I know fell sick and she keeps it all to herself and even though she probably thinks she is not troubling anyone but indirectly she is. So my advice would be, don't kid yourself and if you're so ill then be nice and have trust that other people are nicer! Shouldn't be that hard to do huh..


2. A former student of mine, Form 4 now, muslim malay, girl, cute plus smart, she got 6A's in PMR was caught making out with guys and one of em guy videoed her 'doing it'. When a teacher confronted her, she revealed that she has been doing it and needed to do it because she feels satisfied, MasyaAllah~
and she moved school...


3. Most of my Form 3 students in the first class cannot write a good essay for their directed writing and the mid-year exam is at the end of this month!!! Not to mention that PMR is also nerve-racking! Geez, not only am I pissed but I really feel the burden of teaching them the same thing over and over again!! The thing is:


Firstly, they kept doing their mathematics homeworks which just irate the hell out of me! For most of the Chinese students, its an embarassment not to be good in math! yeah, right! Well, its also mortifying that they are not good even in the simplest English! I had to threatened to kick em out of class or rip their books and only then would they blankly stared at me trying ever so hard to understand even simple English, well, boo hoo!


Next, they like to copy. Since they are in the first class and most of them are used to doing homeworks (most of em had their primary education in Chinese schools and SJKC does a lot of drilling and memorizing) therefore I always give em extra exercises. But they tend to wait for one or two of their friends to finished it then most of em would just copy, URGH! SO INFURIATING!! and what's worse, some of em even copy essays, like what the toot right!! How can they possibly think they could get an A and even la, even if they somehow magically able to score an A, I would definitely know better so screw these kind of no-good pupils!! There was this one literature exercise I gave them and out of 37 students in that class, ONLY 2 answered accordingly and out of that 2, ONLY 1 answered correctly and when I asked her how she was able to find the answer, she said she had to refer to workbooks! Well, at least she did some research, sigh, unbelievable laaa students nowadays! and I had to keep her book for A WEEK just so that other students won't be able to copy her answers!


Some of em take up tuition classes so I asked them what they were taught in those paid classes. They told me that a teacher whose not even that good in English would come and teach them for like 3 hours or so but not just the English language but also 6 other subjects!!! and the time allocated for English is the least time! (Slaps Forehead!) argh!!


So I have started to teach them myself personally FOC after school hours and they appreciate it and then at that moment, my heart goes out to them~


Because of their upbringing, because some of their parents are uneducated, because of lack of exposure and experience, because maybe they don't even have to be good in English or maybe because they don't see the need to master the language, because they have no motivation, because they are poor, because they probably have to work after school, because they probably don't even wanna go to school in the first place but they have to, because of so so many reasons and at times, I can't entertain every single friggin basis as to why and why and why...


Because then I also have my why's ...

Have you ever been SO ANGRY in your life that you wanna literally KILL that person?!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum


I should be sleeping right about now but I am FURIOUS yet it happened days ago on Tuesday, April 27th 2010 but my anger has not dissipated and I pray to God to let me forget it...


BUT NOT UNTIL I FIND JUSTICE!!!


The story is that I had to go for a medical checkup and so I went to the nearest government health clinic and it wasn't really because I would get free treatment but it was also convenient plus my colleagues recommended that place. After registering and whatnot, I had to go to the X-ray room.


At first, the guy behind the counter looked and acted okay. He asked me procedural questions like whether I am married or if I am pregnant and blabla and then instructed me to go inside the room.


I thought there would be a lady radiologist waiting for me but then the guy at the counter came in through the other door.


LETS CALL THIS GUY JERK!


Doktor perempuan takde ke?
Doktor perempuan ada jumaat sahaja. nak buat ke taknak? (tone still okay)
Saya buat jela tapi saya nak mintak seorang nurse.
ASAL PULAK?! (raising his voice like WTH right!!!)

Ada masalah ke? saya nak mintak nurse berada dalam bilik ni dengan saya.
Hek eleh! Orang lain biasa je! (raised voice and questioning my rights, STUPID GUY!)

Boleh tak saya nak mintak nurse?! (through gritted teeth)
Yela, yela.


and he went out but he didn't close the door and then he arrogantly talked to his friend:

Hek eleh, budak ni takut plak!


I clenched my fist.


The nurse came and was ever so kind and then when I went out...

Tak baca ke? Mana boleh pakai rantai! (raised voice again the stupid injudicious guy!)

Encik, saya pernah wat X-ray sebelum ni dan saya mintak supaya tak tanggal rantai sebab susah dan amik masa yang lama. Saya hanya perlu gigit je.

Yela, yela.


I haven't done an X-ray in a very long time, like what, it's been 6 years or something so I wasn't familiar with anything. So I just stand waited to be given instructions.


The JERK gave me absolutely NO INSTRUCTIONS but he said to the nurse;

Ko pusingkan budak ni!

and the nurse just dorkily turned me around for the process.

He snapped:

Dengar arahan saya! Ok, tarik nafas!!! (his voice was so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it hurts that I remembered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


When it was over and I had to put my clothes back on, my hand was shaking and I was quivering WITH ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I got clammy and cold and I stormed out...


When he handed me the form, I blurted out:

Awak ni radiologist ke?

He was quiet.


Awak tau tak perubatan dalam Islam kena ada perempuan teman tau!!!

AWAK INGAT AWAK TU SIAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR ATTITUDE IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and for the 1st time in MY WHOLE LIFE, I swore at him in English!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I went out NEVER looking back but was soooooo furious I nearly cried, silly silly me :'(


Every nerve, muscle and the insides of my body, mind and soul were telling me to REPORT right there and then and at that instance BUT I cowardily went back because I was sooooooooooooo weak and I regretted it soooooo bad :'(


So with anger burning inside of me and no signs of forgiveness, the next day, I called the higher authority of that health clinic and I got through straight to the boss, a female doctor who was ever so kind that I cried at her because I was so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I called her on Wednesday and she called me back on Thursday to clarified some things and she reassured me that investigation will be done on Friday so that action will be taken this upcoming week. I said I don't care as long as action will be taken!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I swear to God that I will follow my complaints until I am satisfied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


In my defense, it is not about taking revenge but THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL AND THE ARROGANCE OF A JERK WHO IS JUST A JURU X-RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


like what the TOOT right?????!!!!!!


He not only questioned my rights but I felt like I was assaulted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know that it is pretty difficult to dismiss a government servant, I mean, I am one myself and what with the red tape, investigations and lots of questions and whatever but by all means, I want this to be MY FIGHT AND MY FIGHT ALONE and even though it might be a small matter to some people but this reflect that I refuse to be treated like that and that I don't deserve it and neither does anybody else!!!!!!!!!!! If he treats me like that so rude and proudly contemptuous then I wonder how he treats some other people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Again, this begs the question:


WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????????!!!!!!!!


curse you!



On another note, I need my readers' doa for this anger boiling inside of me to dispel, Ya Allah~


This reminder is especially for me :'(
and yes, it is very very hard to do :'(

Remember that there are means of soothing anger if it arises, which a person may use to help himself become patient. These include:

1 – Remembering Allah, which should make him fear Him; this fear will motivate him to obey Him, so he will resume his good manners, at which point his anger will fade.

2 – He should get out of the situation he is in, so that his anger will dissipate because of his moving away from that situation.

3 – He should remember what anger leads to of regret and the need to apologize.

4 – He should remember the reward for forgiving others and of being tolerant, so he should force himself to overcome his anger, seeking that reward and so as to avoid deserving blame and punishment.

5 – He should remind himself of the way that people like and respect him, and he should not risk losing that because of his anger, so that people change their minds about him. He should know that by forgiving people he will only increase the respect with which they view him.

And Allah is the Source of Strength.

Wallahualam~