Exam Season

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

So here are some questions for everyone to answer since it’s the exam season and my head is nearly cracked due to the many facts and information digested:

1. Why is it so unfair that we have to learn so much for the sake of examinations? And then by next semester, we forget all that we learnt in the previous semester?!

2. Why do some lecturers teach their students something that would only come out in the exams? Are we really that exam-oriented? And do we want to be? And is it something that we want to pass to our students when we teach later on? There is a very horrifying truth inside this and we, as future teachers may end up doing so because of many factors involved. I’m warning you now.

3. Is it okay if I drink Milo twice a day? I don’t drink caffeine or Pearl Fatimah like some of my friends.

4. Is eating instant noodles really that bad when it’s time for exams? I mean, my friends eat it before exams and then when it is the exams season, they stopped eating instant noodles so does that really make a difference? Sometimes I feel lazy to go to the café but perturbed at the thought that eating mee cintan or mee seeddapp (tak sedap dah) would make me forgetful.

5. What’s the best?
1. I don’t sleep after subuh but will tend to be sleepy around 10am and perhaps take an hour nap or more than an hour, oh uh…
2. I sleep after subuh and wake up around 8am-ish, but latest at 9am, hmm…

6. Last semester, I felt really contented that I had leaded a balanced life. Even when I had study group but I played ping pong every afternoon because I had a ping pong mate who would willingly come and play with me. This semester on the other hand, I have no ping pong mate at all, so I play ping pong all alone inside the house with the wall so does that count as exercise?

7. It’s not that I’m too lazy to jog but I’m just worried that if I do so in the morning, I would feel tired and then may not really focus on my studies so is that really the case? Or if I do jog in the mornings or in the afternoons, I would feel more energetic? I know it probably depends on me but are there any scientific justifications that somebody out there can explained to me?

8. This semester, my course mates and I have to take one paper that has some maths innit and we find it very difficult to process some of the calculations. Is it because we, as English students have lack of practise in maths or is it because we, as English students are just not good in maths? It may seem funny to some but it’s really true! Out of 25 of my course mates, only 2 people are really that good in maths.

9. My sister hated it when her peers would come up to her before the exams and exclaim; eh, awak mesti dah study banyak kan? She said that it made her exasperated because what did her friends expected her to answer? If she said yes then they would say, eleh, if she said no, then they would say, ala, tipu. This is so true as it happened around me too and made me snickered. I never say it though mind you but I hear it all the time, not just to me but also to other people, huhu

10. Why do I always end up eating when studying? Is food really that comforting?

Happy answering! :p

Please pray for my semester 6 final exams, thank you ^_^

24^th April 2008
28^th April 2008
5^th May 2008
6^th May 2008

And then GOODBYE to my university~

Happy 50th Birthday Abah :)

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

On 17^th April 2008, it was ABAH’S 50^TH BIRTHDAY (",)

I bought him a chocolate cake, though I wanted to be more adventurous and tried some other flavours but it’s hard to tell with both my parents, huhu ^ ^

HAPPY 50^TH BIRTHDAY ABAH =D =D =D

And please pray for my upcoming exams :s

Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.
Al-Isra [17:23]

Mama said she only reads 4 blogs namely her children's blogs, huhu ^ ^

no rezeki yet it hurts

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum T_T

There was a post I wrote earlier this year about feeling ever so sad of losing a netball match because of many reasons not just simply for the reason of loss…

Well, it happened again…

And this time, everyone knew because as hard as I tried to cover up my frustrations, sadness and tears, unfortunately it became too transparent.

I hated the pent-up emotions I get but I choked as I held all the what-could-have-beens…

Jati and I entered the doubles women Inter College Regatta Kayak held at the Proton Lake in Proton City. We didn’t practise much, maximum thrice a week and minimum twice a week, and this was until all assignments have been passed up. Then came the big day and I was nervous because some of the participants were in the sports science course and made us felt intimidated. But intimidated as we were, we had NO expectations, we just wanted to kayak and have fun!

But we played hard because we had practise hard, we did! And we got third place!
*grinning from ear to ear*
Alhamdulillah~

And so we got into the finals and when it was the finals, this time, we HAD EXPECTATIONS that we could ACTUALLY GET 3^rd PLACE AGAIN!

And we gripped to that notion that we could because we believed we could, besides, it was only 3^rd place, not 1^st or 2^nd.
And we were there, we were, we were leading, we struggled so hard to get there and then…suddenly…

Out of the blue, we didn’t see it coming…

A kayak sped right past us JUST AS WE WERE NEARLY CROSSING THE FINISH LINE! And when we did, Jati dropped her paddle, it was so shocking, the results announcing at the back declaring that we came in 4^th place

I wanted to choke, I wanted to throw a tantrum, I wanted to chuck my paddle but I’m not like that, so I just paddled hard to get to the shore and my whole body shook, my hands were trembling trying to open the lifejacket, I consoled myself so hard that it hurt and IT HURT SO BAD T_T

And when it was the grand dinner for the JMK that night, everyone kept asking and when I explained, I had to suppressed the tears and when I bent down to fiddle with the napkin, my tears came out, and I cried, not because of losing, but because it hurt of the COULD HAVE BEEN… T_T

Truthfully, I accepted the fact that I lost, I know there’s no rezeki for me this time around but it hurts to be so near, so very near and to lose… T_T

And obey Allah and His Messenger; and fall into no disputes, lest ye lose heart and your power depart; and be patient and persevering: for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.

Al-Anfal [8:46]

To Izzati aka Jati, I know that u also cried and that we had tried and that it’s so frustrating BUT you should know that the sweetest thing that came out from all of this is that, I get to spend so much time with you for good and bad times and I wouldn’t change a thing about that because I loved every minute that we had while kayaking, getting splashed, playing on the swings and the kids slides and walking around the park like couples and talking and talking. I’m going to miss you so much and this year’s eid mubarak, I’m going to come to your house tau! And we promised to go kayaking at the Shah Alam Park, jom! =D

The Raudhah Adventure More Pictures

The Raudhah Adventure Part 2

The Raudhah Adventure Part 1

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum (",)

I am still exhausted after coming back from an expedition to a home where primary and secondary school kids reside, young pregnant ladies, orphans, kids who are left behind, kids who have no home, young girls and boys who are troubled but in spite of all this, these kids are colourful and they bring all the colours and more from the rainbow of life into my friends and my life.

So let me tell you when the rainbow started…

On Saturday 5th April 2008, From college, the bus departed around 2.30pm. The bus driver knew the way until UIA but after that, I had to take over and guide the bus driver. I have always been bad in directions and I had only went to Raudhah once therefore I was a bit confused at which way to go after UIA and spurted out the wrong turning to the driver, supposedly it was left but I said right and I wasn’t even confident when I said it! Everybody groaned at my inability to remember and I was so disconcerted but there was no time for that and so I had to compose myself even though at that moment, I did feel that the tears were stinging at the back of my eyes.

Alhamdulillah, the bus driver was ever so forgiving and he didn’t show the slightest bit of fury which made everybody readily forgave me. Alhamdulillah we arrived safely and after performing asar prayers, there was a taklimat from the caregiver of the Pondok Penyayang Raudhah.

After going to UIA to take dinner, and after all the spiritual cleansing, it was time for ice breaking and then an activity entitled Graf Kehidupan / Life Graph.

In this activity, everybody including the facilitators had to draw a graph that indicated their life experiences from childhood until now. The best part of this activity is that, not only do I get to hear the kids’ tales but I also heard all kinds of stories from the facilitators. It was as if everyone in every group let their guard down and poured their hearts out. It didn’t matter that we just got to know the kids and let alone got to know each other but we readily shared our life encounters.

I heard these stories with shocking revelation, not just from the kids but also from the facilitators. They had stories of divorce parents, of going wild and letting down their parents, of quitting school, of a loved one dying in front of their own eyes, of failing every single academic paper, of smoking, of an 11 year old saying that he doesn’t get enough love and attention from his parents because his parents only channelled their love and care towards other siblings and of many more…

As I heard these stories, I clutched my paper tightly…
I couldn’t let them know my story…
This is because I don’t have a story…
I have been happy and blessed all my life…

The only downside to my graph was that I came back from England to Malaysia and the other one was that I cracked the back of my head. Other than that, I don’t remember ever feeling so unhappy…

My tears stung for them...
But I couldn’t cry…
They could, it’s their story not mine…
My heart ache wanting to reach out to them…

But I also heard stories of being independent, of fighting back, of getting back on track, of studying to succeed again, of repentance, of courage and bravery, of tears of joy and smiles and that everything is going to be okay again, because they believe that everything is going to be okay again because if they are willing to change then Allah will help them and this just doesn’t apply to the kids but also to the facilitators.

O ye who believe! Turn to Allah with sincere repentance: in the hope that your Lord will remove from you your ills and admit you to Gardens beneath which rivers flow― the Day that Allah will not permit to be humiliated the Prophet and those who believe with him. Their Light will run forward before them and by their right hands, while they say "Our Lord! perfect our Light for us, and grant us Forgiveness; for Thou has power over all things."

At-Tahrim [66:8]

This was only what happened on Saturday…

A revelation from Him Who created the earth and the heavens on high.

Taha [20:4]

what does it take to make me not feeling tired?

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum T_T

Lately I have been driving like a zombie O_o

This is because I am so drained of my energy, my mind and my soul, cewah :p

In short, I am just experiencing fatigue.

Fatigue like I have never experience before.

Worse than when I had to pass up lots and lots of assignments.

This is because when it was time to pass up assignments, it only concerned me, myself and I but when this is my program that I’m dealing with and it involves so many people (40 to be exact), I get all nervous and apprehensive, and in my mind, I only want and need for this program to be a success. But success is subjective and more specifically, I would like for everything to be done smoothly, maybe some minor glitches here and there but most importantly, all the participants from my university to arrive safely to the destination, for them and the kids [supposedly 80 kids] to get their food and eat well, no complains there. For the participants to attain something in their hearts, soul and forever in their memories.

“Kepada semua peserta, kite perlulah betulkan niat kita, hanya dan kerana Allah SWT. Kite datang ke sana bukan untuk mendidik budak-budak itu sahaja tapi nak mendidik diri sendiri juga”.

“Menjadi pemimpin bukan perkara yang mudah, sebab itu kalau betul yang dipimpin dan matlamat jelas, awak akan dapat kebaikan atas segala yang awak pimpin. Kalau niat kite ikhlas, Allah mesti tunjuk jalannya”.

-wise words from wise friends-

World you like to add some more beautiful words for me to face tomorrow?

Departed from my college – 2.00pm
Hopefully to arrive at Pondok Penyayang Raudhah – 3.00pm

There will be ice – breaking session, spiritual aspects, talent time, aerobics, sukaneka, LDK (serious ones and fun ones but all games), closing ceremony.

And then when I get back, kena wat pelarasan dari segi budget and the exams are near, aaaaa, what a way to challenge myself! And what a way to end my last semester here, all in all, Allah has given me no imperfections therefore I must always subject myself to Him. Alhamdulillah~