why all the negativity?! i am so mad!!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

So this weekend, my college is organizing Za'ba English Language Campaign 2008 and this is an inter-college event whereby there will be competitions in the form of Jazz Chant, Poetry Recitation, General Knowledge Quiz, Scrabble, Storytelling, Sketch and Spelling Bee.

I am only the coordinator for storytelling (supposedly I was in charge of Scrabble but a friend of mine wanted that experience so I yielded) and in charge of protocol but I’m pretty enthusiastic about this campaign. This is because it’s about creating awareness in the university students that this is the many various fun ways to learn English and to instil a stigma in the university students that learning English is fun.

I was the one who gave the catch phrase for the event and that is, SMILE AND SPEAK ENGLISH *beaming*

I am really fervent about this whole event but not everyone is…

Because this is an inter-college tournament, all 5 colleges are compelled to participate in all events. So we as the JMK use our network to cooperate with all JMK’s from the 5 colleges. Even though I am not even the vice program manager of this campaign but I feel so frustrated at the way people shuddered at the thought that this is an English program. I get so annoyed at the way they respond saying that they have given up looking for participants because many are afraid or just not interested.

Additionally, there’s even a college that hasn’t send even one contestant for any events. I am so mad that I use all the connections I have in that college to practically force them to participate. I don’t even want to force them, let alone make them hate me for pushing them but I can’t just sit back and be contented that every college has sent at least one and that college (just because that college doesn’t have TESL students) hasn’t send anyone at all.

What puzzles me in all of this is the much negativity that we (the workforce) received throughout the process in making this event work. All we ask is to help us look for participants and they themselves can be contestants but no, they just want to have that perception that English intimidates people. And to say that all of us are future teachers. Urgh, I am soooo mad!!!!

To be continued…

everyone knows i don't drink coffee

These candles symbolizes the glow of 25 wonderful years of marriage <3

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

it's been hectic and hectic and hectic and h_cti_. and ok, you get the picture huh..

in spite of that, i want to celebrate, nooo, not valentine (phoeey!) but:

HAPPY 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO MY BELOVED PARENTS :)

abah and mama's wedding is my inspiration and i pray and dream of something similar. i strongly believe that the secret to a blissful marriage is the foundation of both the bride and groom and that is the Islamic beliefs that the husband and wife uphold. both spouses can say that they share the same religion but do they share the same beliefs and ideologies? think about this when looking for Mr or Mrs Right ;)

It is He who strengthened you with His help and with the believers.

He has put affection between their hearts. Had you spent all that is in the earth you could not have put affection between their hearts, but Allah put affection between them; verily He is mighty, wise.

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i don't want to say i'm crumbling but sometimes i feel like i am. i do :(

it's just that being balance is sooo challenging and though sometimes i like the exhilaration but at times, i feel so exhausted!

lately, it's been waking up early (but still sleeping after subuh, TSK TSK),
sleeping late but latest at 3am,
classes and tall order assignments,
JMK programs, plus,
my program for the troubled kids -> now about this, i'm so anxious that i even dreamt about it and fakhru, you know what maklong said about those kids scrutinizing future teachers, well, i think i have nightmares about that! aaaaaa!!!!

and today is BIG NEWS because the elections are around the corner SO my program has just been postpone from 1st to 2nd March to 15th to 16th March, huhu, dunno if i should take that as a blessing in disguise or what...i feel indifferent when i got the news :-?

i can be so weird and now, i'm actually drinking coffee, everyone knows i don't drink coffee

i'm pretty nervous :-s

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

today my friends and i went to survey a place where a husband and wife takes care of troubled kids, for my program. i have never dealt with troubled kids before and i'm nervous. but i really think that it's a good exposure for future teachers (esp for future teachers).

just how troubled these kids are...

1. the boys are mostly involved in drugs, some are just into glue but others have gone so far.
2. some boys were involved in theft.
3. majority of the girls have lost their virginity and have involved in a very not healthy and condemn by religion sexual activities.
4. some of the girls have given birth.
5. some kids had ran away from home.
6. family rejected some of the kids because the parents or guardians couldn't handle em anymore.

i saw only one boy during my visit today. his father came to picked him up so that he can go back to his hometown. he looked so innocent. the caregiver said that he was into sniffing glue and that's why his parents sent him there so that they still can save him. and he can be saved. i dunno y i'm saying this but i feel that he can be saved. i want him to be saved. i prayed that he will be saved. because he's young and he has a bright future ahead of him and i hope he realizes that...

that's only 1 boy that i met today. my program is for 2 days and 1 night and i'm nervous just thinking about it :-s

people have high expectations that we are future teachers but really, apart from that, we're all learning and i wanna learn and gain that experience. but i don't expect for the expectations to be lower, i just hope that we can make a difference regardless of what we do, even if it's just cooking with them. i want to get to know these kids. and last but not least;

i want, that for every speech that the future teachers make to these less privileged kids, at least ONE sentence or a phrase or a WORD, can leave a lasting impact to these kids.

that's why it's important for us to be aware of how and what comes out of our mouth :)

Those men― Allah knows what is in their hearts; so keep clear of them, but admonish them and speak to them a word to reach their very souls.
An-Nisa [4:63]

Scrabble Heads

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

i am tired but i can't be tired for a long time, got lotsa stuffs to do, huhu :]
i just got back from University Malaya from attending the


it was a SCRABBLE BLAST!!! i enjoyed every minute of it in spite of losing B U T...

i did win 3 out of 5 games so Alhamdulillah :)

i have always loved Scrabble but sometimes i just don't play it as much as i like to. but when i became my university representative to the NST ASTAR Scrabble Challenge Inter-Varsity, all i could see and dream was scrabble babble, hehe ;)

and so began me playing scrabble with my teammate, evanna,
playing solitaire scrabble (playing alone),
duplicate scrabble (playing with my teammate with the same tiles and trying to achieve the highest number of words),
scrabble at night,
whenever i feel sleepy, i would refrain from sleeping and play scrabble,
taking the scrabble board game to the jmk room and playing with fellow jmk just before meetings,
and REALLY dreaming of scrabble! no joke!

yesterday i dreamt of scrabble too, of all the words i could make and scoring high with the tiles and did i tell you that i have memorized the points a tile has? like for instance, H is a 4?
and so evanna calls me a geek :-B

i learnt that in playing Scrabble, there are 3 important factors:

1. Skill (because u need the knowledge of the word power)
2. Strategy (because u can't just simply put the tiles anywhere u want)
3. Rezeki (because as a muslim, luck is not in my scrabble dictionary and Allah gives enlightment to make words as you may have the tiles but you may not make the word)

playing scrabble with other varsity was an enjoyable moment i'll never forget. so here's pictures:

the drama queen (my teammate that is :p ) and i ;D

the clique i became good friends with throughout the tournament. from left upwards; sharmilie, tanusha, anusha, aminah, evanna and i :)

the day of the tournament, surprisingly the rules were pretty lenient! and to think i had timed myself whenever i practised for 2 minutes every turn when instead, at the tournament, they let us think long and hard but below 5 mins la :>

my first game and i won! :))

my second game and i won again!

my third game and i won! [i know i look pudgy, that's P-3, U-1, D-2, G-2, Y-4 :p ]

i forgot to take pictures for my fourth game and that's probably because i went against the team that i had played in my first game but this time around, he won because as they say, once bitten, twice shy, huhu (i actually forgot the idiom, am i correct then?)

me panicking because i had lost a game :s

my last game and 2nd loss, sob, sob...

Sir Roy from Malaysian Scrabble Association, he's so cool, he just goes up to my tiles and instantly formed a word! and i was still thinking hard and long, huhu :p he says he's been playing for too long!

the closing ceremony :D

Goodbye everyone! i had soooo much fun and what an experience and i wanna enter again next year!!! :))

losing has never been so sad :(

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :'(

i have fail and lost before, those two words are no stranger to me, and i have dealt with them like how many times and in so many ways...

THEN, why does it feel so sad when i lost the netball match last saturday?!

i feel like a kid. losing has never been so sad :'(
i nearly cried, i was t h i s close to tears but i held back with all my might...

MAYBE, because i was the captain,
MAYBE, because i was center when instead i always held the position of wing attack or wing defence,
MAYBE, because i had expectations of winning only 1 match, just 1, that's all i ask actually,
MAYBE, because we practised early in the morning when the sunrise and until the sun burned us up,
MAYBE, because many of my teammates are new,
MAYBE, because we weren't aggressive enough,
MAYBE, because someone didn't turn up at the eleventh hour and we got it real bad,
MAYBE, because i fell real hard on the ground and my bright green tracks got torn and i scrape my knee in the process and IT HURTS!!
MAYBE, because there were so many reasons i could find but it just so happened that we lost and that there's a reason for everything and losing and winning is about life.

i'm starting to hate cliche words now...

but there's a sentence that is not and never cliche to me and that is, it just wasn't our rezeki to win that tournament and i accepted that, I DO, but i won't deny how sad i felt especially when the winners received medals, wuu, i love getting medals, SOB...

life is funny (cliche again :p)
who would have thought that i would be sad losing a game?! it's just a game, huhu

in spite of all that has happened, i don't ever regret playing because the memories were too sweet...
everytime i came to the court to practise, there's always someone new that i would get to bond with and eventhough some are on the opponent team but they readily taught me and my geng strategies and how best to play the game. i'm very overwhelmed at the informal lessons i get on netball. moreover, i get to spend quality time with my fellow jmk, this is my last sem here and if there's one thing significant in my life as a student living in Za'ba Residential College is that i love my fellow JMK's so much ^_^

pressure :-!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :[

it's been a sweet but stressful week for me...

my paperwork for my college to do a program in Pondok Penyayang Raudhah at Gombak has been approved, Alhamdulillah, thanks to someone, you know who you are, i couldn't have done it without you, THANK YOU SO MUCH :))

so the program is on 1st-2nd March but meetings and distribution of tasks will be done starting next week and for the chinese new year, i have to pay the place a visit so we can discuss many things to make the program work. i'm nervous. this is my 1st time i have been given the responsibility to actually organize a sort of MAJOR program and this program involves outside people and i'm upholding the college plus the university's image and reputation and i can't afford to mess things up!

so the question is, all the JMK (the college student representative council) are a new batch, young and inexperience including my partner and i and even the workforce under my International Public Relations Comittee and of course we would do anything to make the program in order and flawless but it won't be perfect would it? and so we have to look at every nook and cranny to make sure we don't leave anything out and minimize any incorrect acts or decisions but what if something were to happen? then what? is it really inevitable? and there's always a reason that people tend to make when that happen that is;

that's ok, we're all new, this is our first time, we're all trying our best, we don't have any experience and a a lot of sighhhs~

is it really acceptable? isn't it too much cliche? i am myself new in the field of leadership and it's my first time and i am always and also trying my best plus the fact that somethings i am inexperience at BUT it's bugging me that somehow, that particular reason is unacceptable! even me, myself and i don't want to say those words out aloud! and i don't even know why...

maybe because i believe that WE COULD BE BETTER and that whatever we do, we have to STRIVE and make sure that we EXCEL and that humans have limits so why not we test our limits?! and that we have to hold on and constantly challenge ourselves and i believe that we can do so when we never leave our obligations to Allah because i have always believe that Allah is the ONE and ONLY that gives us the enlightenment that we need and that when we pray and pray, we always ask to Allah to ease our burdens and that Allah will and that when we feel lost and pressure [like i do now] we have to always turn to Allah, that's the only way out that i see, i couldn't see anything else :(

because i have an inter-university scrabble competition in early february and a netball match this afternoon and so many assignments and JMK programs plus my own program and i couldn't sleep yesterday, i got it real bad :(

so i called mai all the way to england and she gave me the answer that i already knew but that i just had to hear it from someone else to comfort me. mai said to take my ablution and read lots of zikr and clear my mind until i fell asleep -_-

i noticed that the moon was beautiful yesterday night when i practised playing netball, Subhanallah, won't the moon shine on me?!

IF only i could come out with GREAT materials now...

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :]

for the subject, Materials Development for the Literature Classroom, the GOOD NEWS is that there will be no final exam, hurrah, hurrah!! however, i can only 20% rejoice on that because the courseworks are a tall order!

in groups, we have to create AUTHENTIC materials to teach poetry, short stories and novels from the literary texts that is currently in the form 1 until form 5 literature component in high schools. the lecturer forbids anything taken from any source whatsoever demanding that we use up all our time and energy to create what we can in order to be SUPER GREAT teachers in the future. the lecturer has a point. but the lecturer is pressing for too much and this limits my creativity. the materials can't just be anything, it has to be content-based and the goal is to get the message of the literary text across. i geddit, i do, but the problem now is that what the lecturer want is not something that i totally agree to. siggghh~

so IF i could push the lecturer aside, i would like to tell everyone that my group has the challenge to create materials for the poem, IF by Rudyard Kipling. for those who's in form 4 and has experienced learning the poem in form 4, pleaseeee give me your ideas!

the picture is a poster made by my group, on the factors that we have to integrate when creating materials for the poem. you thought it would be easy, you could just create anything out of the blue, BUT NOOOO, there are many many factors to consider!

back in my days as a form 4 student, i don't remember my teacher creating materials at all to teach any poems. in addition to that, i have to create materials that would get the students to delve deep into the poem. i never had that kind of teaching when i was in form 4, all i knew was the basic stuffs like theme, moral values and issues. BUT in IF, the poem is actually divided into 4 aspects that i have to make students realize;
the first stanza focuses on the emotional aspect, the 2nd stanza mental the 3rd physical and the last stanza touches on social.

i agree in getting the students to really scrutinizing the poem, it'll definitely be a challenge but there's also a part of me that discourages that, because not many students out there, esp in the rural area will appeal to the idea. i'm not even a teacher yet i say such things :(

oh, buck up me, it'll be allright, i can do it! so far, the materials are an audio recitation on the poem [this is a must, hmm...what happen to letting us decide?!], video on the poem [so my group had to act out certain lines from the poem, aaaaa, i felt soooo foolish!], mindmap chart kinda thing whereby students have to match which lines go with each lines, printed materials that consists of exercises and last but not least...erm...no idea *blank*

h e l p...

today scholarship money is in!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

i have never hated my or any lecturer ever. at times, i get the feeling of frustration towards a certain lecturer but it will always dissolve very quickly~

recently, a feeling of dislike creeps inside of me towards a lecturer, but i kept cool, i refrain myself from telling anyone and tried with all my might to push those negative feelings away...
the lecturer has not done anything towards me but how the lecturer conducts the lesson just bugs me big time!

and then i had to meet the lecturer. at 8am. argh! and the animosity i felt went up a notch...

but everything changed that morning...

Alhamdulillah, the feeling went away just as quickly as it had came into my emotions.
there's still certain aspects of the lecturer that i find uneasy but i can just push it aside and locked those ill feelings away deep in my heart. because that morning, the lecturer reveal bits of who the lecturer is to me, and like a book, i am beginning to comprehend and take in who the lecturer really is. i even find myself drawn and wanting to find out more but embaressed to ask.

the moral of the story is, lecturers are humans too and students have a tendency to yak about their lecturers. i think majority of us do that and if it's good then it should be ok but otherwise, uh oh...

i will not brickbat and tell horrible lies about my lecturers, that's a guarantee from me because i believe that lecturers are just like teachers and they deserve the utmost respect from students regardless of what they done that's not against religion. moreover, what you give, you get back and when you do wrongful acts to your lecturers then there will be something in store for you later from Allah, huhu, warning!!

so when the lecturer teaches me, i will follow what the lecturer says with my brows meeting together for a frown because sometimes, the lecturer makes the lesson so complicated, sigghhh~

i kinda like this one

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

i'm still at home and it's so ironic that i dread going back to college tomorrow in spite of feeling sad that this is my last sem there...hmm...i'm just so weird...

Hi, my name is: Wan Madihah bt Wan Abd Rahman Jauhari

but you can call me: Madihah eventhough many call me maddy

Never in my life have I: went around the world so must achieve this dream of mine!

The one person who can drive me nuts is: my roommate of 4 years and still going strong ;)

My university is: a place I never thought I could be sad coz I’m leaving soon~

When I’m nervous: I get all clammy

The last song I listened to was: always getting over you by angela ammons

If I were to get married right now it would be to: mr classy somewhere out there ;p

My hijab: too smooth that it makes my face chubby!

When I was young: I was hyperactive

Last Raya: I still get duit raya ;p

I should be: as creative as Creative ;D

When I look down I see: wuu, I need to sweep the floor!

The happiest recent moment was: driving the persona

If I were a character on a TV show: I would be brooke davis in one tree hill coz I like her sense of style, hehehe

I have a hard time understanding: grammar coz sometimes it comes naturally to me…

There’s these girls: who I have a hard time figuring them out

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my parents, that would be first 2 people, huhu

I want to buy: a digicam, pls…

Where do you plan to go during chinese new year: on holiday perhaps?

If you spent the night at my house: we’ll gossip until dawn, hihi ;p

The world could do better without: people claiming to be muslims but doesn’t practice the Islamic pillars

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: plastic case for my hp

Most recent thing someone else bought me: someone pls buy me something now coz I can’t recall, hahaha :p

My middle name is: OCD :p

In the morning I: want to be able to look cute :p

Last night I was: thinking about my plans for the next day

There’s this guy I know: who is actually a softie inside though he looks rough and tough on the outside

If I was an animal I’d be a: tiger! So that I could leap and maul people :p

A better name for me would be: I love my name thankyouverymuch

Tomorrow I am: dreading going back to college

Tonight I am: eating nasi daging coz daging korban aritu haven’t finished yet

My birthday is: 19th august and I want a digicam ok!

People i wanna tag: everyone on my links! :D

Salam Maal Hijrah :)

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :)

i have been wanting to update in conjunction with Maal Hijrah but the internet connection in college have been so unstable that i can't even finished checking my mail! i dunwan people to think that i updated my blog for the new year but didn't do so for the muslim new year!

from the words of this SUPER-INSPIRING blog, http://anneesa.hadithuna.com/ :
I am a Muslim, therefore my new year begins on the 1st of Muharram. And I am proud to say this. ‘Salaam Ma’al Hijrah‘ :)

i have the same resolutions and the same hope and dreams and pray that Allah will answer my prayers, ameen :)

Maal Hijrah, which is also called Awal Muharram, is an important day for muslim. It falls on the first day of Muharram on every Muslim calender year, which is the first day on muslim calender.


The meaning of Maal Hijrah in English is migration. On this day, Muslim remember Nabi Muhammad S.A.W migrate from Mekkah to Madinah on the year 622 A.D. Besides, Maal Hijrah also mean changes from bad to good side and can be said as starting point and evaluate inner-self on self achievement.


Awal means begining in English and Muharram is the first month of muslim calender. In another words, this is the first day in Muslim calendar. Therefore, this is also the new year for all Muslim :)





so i'm at home now after 3 weeks and i took the brand new blueberry tea persona for a drive and fell in love with it! it's so cool! wah, proton really did great! if there's one thing i'm proud of to be a malaysian then it's proton, hehe, reallyyy!