addiction

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum :[

so this hols is taking a toll on me...

now i know what it's like to be addicted...

i know that i have a recurring compulsion to engage in my addiction despite harmful consequences to my health, physical and mental state or social life.

there's something uncontrolled and compulsive inside of me that's overpowering me and making me succumb to my addiction...

i have tried to abstain, refrain, hold back, everything to overcome my addiction but still, i fail and at times, my addiction increases rather than decreases...

The development of my addiction is thought to involve a simultaneous process of 1) increased focus on and engagement in a particular behavior and 2) the attenuation or "shutting down" of other behaviors.

i have begun to realize that what i have is generally accepted that addiction is a disease, a state of physiological or psychological dependence or devotion to something manifesting as a condition in which medically significant symptoms liable to have a damaging effect are present.

yes, it can be damaging because i could become fat and obese and my cheeks will be bloated and puffy and chubby and then it could take a turn for the worse as i slowly have low self-esteem and i don't wanna see anyone anymore and i just wanna be indoors and sulked and that won't be helping because i could turn to being addicted again and again...

The speed with which i become addicted to various foods varies with the foods, the frequency of use, the means of ingestion, the intensity of pleasure or euphoria, and my genetic and psychological susceptibility.

perhaps addiction is a choice, but i still need help...

:(