and that’s what’s depressing me most of all, that everything is my fault when it comes to teaching…
My practicum partner and I are blessed! We have everything anyone could ask for and we feel really contented about everything that we have.
In the hostel;
We only have to pay such a small amount, RM7 a day for eating the school hostel’s 6 times meal.
We have television as a sort of entertainment.
We don’t mind taking care of the hostel kids because the boys and girls are so superbly nice and hospitable.
We don’t go out in the weekdays and only after school on Thursday do we start our expedition around Kedah.
Every weekend, when the hostel kids have to return to their homes, Nani and I have our own little destination budget and we get to crash other people’s house for the weekend. So far, we have been to all our course mates’ house (girls of course) except for one.
Most of my money goes to the car, the maintenance, oil and the snow wash.
At school;
We have not been bullied like the school giving us extra works or other teachers taking advantage of us just because we have less work compared to them.
We only get 1 relief a day or none at all and we could refuse if we really have to, there’s no pressure in relief and usually when I’m free, I don’t mind taking 2 classes for relief.
We have a super duper nice and supportive teacher supervisor who is always there for us to help us and she can totally relate to our problems because she understands the kids.
We have an experienced lecturer supervisor who always wants us to find ways to get the students to understand and for us to teach according to the students’ level.
And speaking of which, that’s my major problem!
I HAVE PROBLEM GOING TO THE STUDENTS’ LEVEL!!!
7 comments:
Salaamun'alayk Madihah Dearest,
"Going to the students’ level" ? Haha..tell me aboutit!! Been there, faced it…
still trying (very2) hard…
Yknow Madiehah, I went thru times when I felt like I just couldn’t do it..it was somewhere near giving up... but soon I saw that it was simply a challenge to be overcome with faith. And AlHamdulillah Allahu ta’ala was there to make me grab hold of my senses as I knew it for myself that I was not prepared to succumb to defeat just yet…perhaps I shall never, cause teaching at the Secondary level is truly my best preference at present time. So believe me, what we’re experiencing is all just part of the wonderful learning process of an educator holding the status of a beginner…
So yah ultimately you might be visited by that inadequate feeling, my personal experience was that I came to a point where I ended up feeling, and alas also concluding that I’m just probably not cut out to teach at the Secondary level…my poor beluved kids; the ones who had to suffer the most.. they’re just 13 and 14 year olds but I deliver my lectures using the language of 23s and 24s! *especially during Islamic Studies.. lol…so most of the time I wud get these distressed frowning foreheads and I am often graced with that favourite feedback phrase: “we don’t understand..”…lol
But believe me, as it is with other ‘skills’, -yes teaching is unquestionably a skill-, it goes with time…inshaAllah given enuf time, after a series of trials and errors, supported and driven by unyielding determination, we’ll surely get the hang of it (: . As time goes by, we will know how to apply the principle that Rasulullah saw-the Teacher of Educators taught us, roughly translating it: “Bertuturlah dengan manusia mengikut kadarnya” and yes it applies very crucially here in Education. So lets have faith in ourselves Mads, for surely we can, with the Will and Grace of Allah ^__^
So di sini kR sertakan sekali access to my humble e-teratak which is currently undergoing some active works of renovation…al-maklumlah dah SETAHUN tak update...LOL..its just recently that my blog started ‘breathing’ again.. Lol..
Yknow Mads, I’m learning a lot from you ^_^ Hamdan lillah… Madehah memang bersungguh in pouring down your precious daily experience…that’s inspiring, keep it up,Dear (: yknow if I was really going to do any kind of furthering of studies, I would really like to take up a degree AGAIN. I’m longing to do a degree in TESL because I did not graduate with that course… ):
Okay I’ve added your enlightening electronic journal pad here to my list.. it’s a must cause insha’Allah I’ll be paying frequent trips here. I hope you’re okay with that, it seems like your blog is under ‘occupation’ now… Headline: The Mad Land has been Occupied!!! …Lol! Ok just jesting… ;D
Much Luv
k.Rahimah
PS:
Sorry lah msg kR selalu ‘panjang2’… :B
Salaam alayk Madihah,
I’d just like to add a bit more and share that base on my personal experience, when it comes to lowering yourself to your students level, I’ve learnt that it is always a -conscious- effort. As for myself, I alllllllllways have this tendency to talk to and address my kids like they're people from ‘My’ own age group, I think it must be an indirect influence of them being physically ‘bigger’ than me.. LOL… ya Allah most of the time I am delusioned into thinking that I am addressing 24 year olds instead of 14 year olds.. as comical as that may sound, that’s what’s been happening in my lessons for the previous 1 year and a half…
But now I’m slowly learning to be attentive to my audience, signaling myself NOT to be too philosophical, ya I’ve always had problem with that, big time, lol.. it was my number one weakness, i.e.: being extremely philosophical. But AlHamdulillah, nowadays whenever I stand infront of my students to address them, I always -consciously- notify myself who I am speaking to.. this includes NOT using terminologies that are too high for their level, so yeah nowadays I can actually f e e l that I’ve brought my standard down.. well it may not have drastically decreased, but the decline is there nevertheless, no matter how small.. so alhmadllh it kinda gives off a satisfying feeling, and you also feel somewhat motivated and assured of yourself, yknow.. it feels like some kind of (minor) achievement for the learning teacher ..lol...
At the end of the day I always tell myself that it is the ‘right’ of a student to get his or her knowledge imparted via a medium that he or she can comprehend. So its basically about... fulfilling your students’ rights…
Luv,
kR
..did i say i just wanted to add 'a bit' more..? haha..thats an apparent understatement.. great apologies sought, Mads dear ;D
I personally think your own level of English is way too high of that of an average Malaysian, let alone the high school students in villages. That comment may be a tad hyperbolic but I can point out to you that some Malaysian students here in New Zealand, who supposedly belong to the upper echelon of mastery of English among Malaysians, write or speak crappy English. I'm not that good either. I have a hunch that you may end up teaching English in uni. I'm not an English teacher, so what do i know...
aspiring ummu rumaysaa' :
wasalam kak Rahimah and I LOVE YOUR WORDS, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MORE THAN WORDS!!!
i thank Allah for u because TRUTHFULLY, i just needed all this, u couldn't have come at a better time, like an angel from above, an answer to my prayers, knowing that someone has been there and done that and then giving me encouraging words, comforting me and i love your English, the words touch me more =)
no one, and i mean no one knows how hard this practicum has been for me, and i know everyone can say this but really, it's been that hard for me but i have been keeping it all in because i thought i could be stronger and much stronger than i realize but slowly i am actually on the verge of giving up but then i almost always pick myself up because i am the optimistic type.
for me, the rainbow is always there after the storm but sometimes i can't see and that makes me frustrated! and my eyes kept squinting because i just can't see and then my eyes would hurt and the tears would sting and the pain would come and it hurt and it hurt so bad :'(
but i know the rainbow is somewhere out there and perhaps i got to try harder or die trying...
the rainbow maybe fading away slowly but it's still there so i guess that's a good sign~
THANK YOU AGAIN SIS ^_^
your words bring comfort to me more than u know~
salam...maaf ye mencelah...my words in malay + my english is creepy...
just nak add few comments..from experience...bdk2 nih perlu diberi perhatian dan tunjuk ajar..mereka bukannya taknak belajar tp kita sebagai pendidik perlu banyak2 bersabar dan jgnlah berputus harapan inshaAllah dgn berkat usaha yg tak henti2 dan doa kita,inshaAllah sumanya akan berjalan lancar..teruskan perjuangan dlm mendidik dan mengasuh,jika kita tak didik anak bangsa kite sapa lagi yg akan buat utk kita?..satu point penting adelah bersabar dan never give it up...bagi saya guru adalah yg terbaik..tanpa guru sapelah kita...dan seorg guru yg baik takkan meninggalkan anak2 murid dia terkontang kanting dan guru sentiasa melindungi dan mendidik anak2 muridnya ke jalan yg benar/lurus, jiwa seorg guru adelah mulia =)..waAllaualam..hope this will help...don't give it up and keep up the good work...
along:
I'll take what u say as a compliment but really along, ur English is good and getting better, abah and mama agrees with me :)
nway, i personally think that i may end up lecturing, perhaps because i want too but at the back of my mind, i feel like i have a calling in teaching and this feelings make me ambivalent, sigh~
ummu:
thank you! erm, is this still kak rahimah? i love your english though :D
thanks again and thanks for the reminder, i needed constant reminding :(
Al-Salaamu alaykum,
Mads Dear, if after 10 years you still cant quite bring yourself down, then like your big Bro said, thats highly likely an indicator that you’re really meant to be imparting knowledge at the tertiary level… yea it’s the exact thing I am telling myself too..lol
Well we all start somewhere…and a prominent lecturer has his or her foundational years too… so let these few years of starters be the foundation to our career as educators which will insha’Allahu ta’ala ultimately lead towards greater success…with the Will of Allah. yknow these few years may be painstaking but they play vital role in shaping our career dimension… we need to develop our basis somewhere…and just believe that all successful educators go thru this phase…its part of the package (:
And Allah the Almighty has decreed that you are to reap your first few cherished years of experience at the place where you are serving right now… Hamdan lillah for the ni’mah…
It’s only natural that we start off with hardship at the beginning…cause Success only comes with Sacrifice…and we’ve only just started…there's a lot more to experience along the way, have faith!
It takes both the sweet and the sour to make the "Bawal Sweet & Sour" dish tasty, ryte...? haha.. So let us nurture faith, the journey has a lot in stock to offer, the sweetness of experience is surely there for us to savour… But it may come at a later time..but educators can wait..right? ^_^ cause real educators have real patience..and Allah knows..thats why they became educators in the first place.. Hamdan lillah ;)
Yknow i dont deny that there are times when I find myself eyeing service in higher education too… so whats stopping me?
Hmm that wud be another long session that we can have just between us…if I were to write it here nanti orang laen takde tempat nak menulis! :D LOL...your comment space here will just be filled with my extensive exhaustive writing that bores…
Madeehah dear, I think sister Ummu there is a friend of urs… my tag name would always be either aspiring umm rumaysaa’ or the acronym a.u.r ^_^
i'm sorry, i've always had problem with brevity, as you can see i seriously need to take a course on how to be -brief-
Lol..
Much luve
kRahimah
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