I never got round to telling my blog that I am married, well, I am. So there.
I still am ambivalent about being a wife, its all so overwhelming and daunting. I remembered that when it was just around the corner, I was very much flustered that I wasnt prepared physically, emotionally, spiritually and intelectually :-s
and not to say that I am now.
You know, Time stopped on the morning of the 21st January 2011. I remembered people kept telling me that I had to rest because tonight was an important night and that I was treated like a princess! But I couldnt relax, not when I was about to hold a worthy and glorious yet intimidating position that night!
Alhamdulillah everything went well from the solemnization to the reception on my family side and it was at that moment that Time was evil, it went fast forward and I was on autopilot and I could feel my feet above the ground.
I felt like I was flying and that I had someone by my side who would always make sure that I was never going to fall yet at the same time, I'm so terribly scared that I might fall because of my own carelessness. I'm so afraid that if my fingers slipped through his, I might plunge so all I want to do is hold his hand ever so tightly and never letting go. I felt like I was looking down and I saw my family and they were waving at me beaming and cheering me on, wanting me to fly but at the same time, wishing in their hearts that they never had to let me go. and then I was flying faster and faster and I had loved the clouds and fresh air on my face and body and I splayed-out my arms and let loose not wanting to ever come down. and then, he had to fly somewhere else, somewhere far and he let go of my hand and flew in another direction and I didn't want to fly anymore. I wanted to land. So I landed and started walking. and I wanted to run but I couldn't because my heart was heavy and then it hurt and my eyes become blurry with tears. and I couldn't sprint because I couldn't see.
not until he takes my hand again.
5 comments:
wow, deep, very deep~~
maddy, remember, patience and doa are the key.. its ok to be sad, but dun let it gets to u..
i pray that Allah will give u the strength to hold on, no matter how terrible ur sadness cud be..
im sure dat adzim will not like it if u cry everyday, questioning things that are unsure..
dun wori, adzim will alwiz come to u no matter how far he is from u now.. :)
thank you milah for every thoughts of you of me, for every words, for every advice, for every prayers, thank you my best friend :)
hang in there kakngah =)
setiap kali call rumah, ma mesti kate "lepas dah kawen,everything changes.."
well,maybe not everything but i guess a lot of things kan.
anyway,gonna miss our late nite pillow talks,our shopping trips and the list goes on!
miss you!
things do change and I get so much sad these days :'(
be strong kak maddy.allah owez be with u...
PJJ itu manis..hehe
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