back in college

Assalamualaikum :)

so i'm back at college, with the study groups and the struggle of studying because finals coming up, i'm sooo nervous and this time around, the anxiety level is really HIGH!! [don't we say that in every finals?!] :p

anyway, actually i wanted to go back last thursday but when i talked to one of my coursemate who's already there, he said that there's no one around and that the college is very deserted plus the canteens are not open yet. so i told myself, if that's the case, i might as well just stay a bit longer at home and my parents agreed. and i could study at home, just that i have to focus a lot more because the temptations prove to be challenging, hehe!

on saturday night, i went to Sirim's eid celebration and they served goat which is just simply my favourite and that's basically all what i had eaten that night since i don't feel like eating rice and i wasn't in favor of the satay. the highlight of the night had to be the part when i received duit raya! hehe, don't be jealous but there were aplenty more after the kids' turn so the sirim people paved the way for the singles if we want to and we do! well, actually, initially i sulked at the thought of going to the front but my mom pestered me and said, hey, that's an opportunity to be taken, go! and besides, i looked to see many singles making their way, so i just went and received duit raya in a sirim money envelope which was, well, cool in a way :D

so the next day, sunday, was the day that i went back to college and since my parents were also on their way to penang because daddy has work there so i thought i just follow suit driving behind their car. now, abah drove moderately (as usual) but also because he was concern with me, not that he didn't trust me but it's like he was looking out for me and that was reallyyy touching~

but the MOST TOUCHING part of all, was when it was the junction for the two cars to part, my dad opened his window and put out his hand to wave at me and then my mother did the same!!! and that was soooo it, i felt so moved that there were tears forming in my eyes, oh, THANK YOU ABAH MAMA :))

it was really just a small gesture but it meant a lot to me, and i feel more motivated to study, because my excellent results {InsyaAllah} would definitely be dedicated to my parents :)

to be the best

Assalamualaikum :[

currently feeling: frustrated
listening to: life is beautiful - vega 4

yeah, i should do that more often esp when i do a new skin because i know my current skin now is not suitable. n3mah and kak aalaa use to do that...hmm...have they forgotten now...

nway, i read somewhere that to be a really good-everybody-will-sure-read-your-blog blogger, then you have to dish out some dirt somewhere! the example given is that this girl wrote about her experiences of being heartbroken and how she got over the guy and basically it was because of a third party and blablabla, and so she said that many people read her blog and commented and after that, people kept coming back for more and she said that her ratings went up and she became a famous blogger! and i was like, so that's it??!!
another example is about this girl who would dish out about her surroundings and she would be giving brickbats everywhere and to everyone and she said that people like it so she would continue doing so. hmm...now it made me think...

of course i would like people to read my blog and i'm already grateful for having avid readers but to dish out dirt??!! that just ain't me, reallyyy because first of all, i don't like to expose myself and hence make myself vulnerable to the whole world. besides, if i do, then i'm giving opportunities for people to judge me and though i know that people always tend to do that but i wouldn't want to be freely judged. secondly, who doesn't have dirt??!! i do and i have many!! sometimes i do feel like dishing and i know girls have a tendency to be bitchy but i won't do that on the internet. it's just not nice and besides, i have a reputation to uphold and to tell the world that my parents raised me better than that. next, i wouldn't like to stoop too low so no-no to dishing and lastly, it's aib to dish people's dirt so when you take care of other people's aib then Allah will take care of your aib. ain't that right people?!

recently, an anonymous person said to me that my blog just doesn't have enough input. that person suggested that because s/he like my writings then maybe i should write about some important issues rather than focusing on my experiences. well, i know that sometimes i don't write about war or rape or whatever current issues there is and it's not because i don't want to but i prefer to ponder on what i have experienced and i always have this hope to inspire people and i want to do so in my writings and the best way i can channel that is through what i have went through. eventhough there's no dirt but there's still some pixie dust...

besides, i treat my blog like a jurnal so that means i can write about anything right? and i would like to say, you can't judge me and if you don't like my blog then there are thousands more blog out there BUT...what that person said disturbs me, it's like as if i'm not enough...and it hurts...

should i take offence? maybe that person like to see me developed...maybe that person had no intention to miffed me and maybe i'm just being emotional, oh sob! so here's dirt, pls comment before it gets muddy :(

to kak aalaa and other things

Assalamualaikum :)

i know this is pretty late but better late than never huh, and may i add, better cliche than not, hehe :p

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAK AALAA, sweet 23 on the 20th oct 2007! and not to worry, for me, you still look ever so young and you totally rock! now, lemme go back to the days when i first got to know kak aalaa. we were dormmates when i was in form 3 and she in form 4 and i loved my dormmates back then because i had such cool people like kak mar, kak aalaa's partner in crime turned mummy now, kak iman. there were kamilah shafii, mar rais, madihah, maisarah, aisyah shahidan and okayyy, did i mix up my previous dormmates?! hope not, kak aalaa, am i right here??!! hehe :">

nway, i found out that kak aalaa was and IS reallyyyy creative and cool and i just found myself liking her and her works because she made the dorm all colorful and awesome, hahaha, mesti kak aalaa gelak2 niii :p
i SO remembered when it was my birthday. everyone was getting ready to go to school and kak aalaa was still in bed (i remembered it was quite difficult waking her up!) and then she kinda sat up on the bed [i guess everyone thought she was gonna go down and bathe or something] but all she did was "happy birthday wan!" and then PLOP back on the bed!!! okayyyy, biar betullll kak aalaa niiii....i was like, "thank you kak aalaa" beaming and all and "bgnla kak aalaa!" and then i guess she realized that if she didn't wake up, she would wake up with the dorm empty, haha :p

nway, kak aalaa, for your birthday, i wanna wish you everything you really wish for yourself! and if you don't know yet, then i love your creative juices, always have and always will so pls maintain your creativity inside and outside!! i mean, look at your blog now! and you always make me laugh esp when you team up with imang, hehe :D

okay kak aalaa, you better open this blog with ie from now on, esp when reading this post! hehe :)

so right now, i'm pretty much studying for my finals and i find that i can stay up until 1am studying! and i wake up around 8am or 9am, after subuh that is, is that supposed to be good?! i dunno..
i find that i tend to munch when i'm studying so there's danger there, oh uh..
i find that maybe at college, it'll be just the same with studying and the distractions, at home, there's tv, cooking, shopping, chores, more food! at college, there's jmk stuffs, chit chatting with peers, going to the canteen, have to wash your own clothes...hmm...

Convoi Raya

Assalamualaikum :)

ahhh, I LOVE that picture, so thank you zahrah!! *hugs*

so basically raya day 4, my family and i are already on the way to home sweet home and raya day 5, the whole family started puasa sunat 6 syawal. i received my first raya guest that day, a fellow jmkz [Jawatan Mahasiswa Kolej Za'ba], izzati or as i called her, jati, from klang and basically she brought her friend from sabah to sight see the city of roundabouts and so she dropped by to beraya at my house. thanks for coming jati!! :D

eventhough the house wasn't 100% spick and span but i was happy to received my 1st raya guest and she wasn't just my 1st raya guest but also the house since nobody has yet came.

so i was excited for raya day 6 because it was my schoolmates eid convoi and we would always try to do this convoi every year! so i planned to not sleep after subuh prayers and cook mee jawa but i woke up at 8am, ups, and then mama strongly recommended to cook macaroni and cheese. well, that's just simply my favourite food and because there was a lack of ingredients therefore i had to rushed from the morning market to tesco to puchased what is needed just to make the best of the dish for my friends :)

because of that, i also had to missed the 1st house, at klang, rodhiah's house because i couldn't leave my mom to finish off everything. so i waited for them to come back to shah alam for my house. there were rodhiah, zahrah, nadiah, mun, nana and aslam, THANKS guys for coming and liking the macaroni and cheese! (beaming=)

then i had to go pick up n3mah from the ktm and i practically made her come to my house to eat and she ate so greedily, hahaha, just kidding ;p

before that, we did dropped by to visit kak habibah's new born baby girl, aaaawwww, congrats kak bib!! :D

then we went to fatin's house, she couldn't join because her finals are so near, sob...but it was great to be able to see her :)

then we went to the most anticipated house of all-> mun's new home in subang alam, section 24. wah~ it was very grand and magnificent and i guess we made use of the view to do our very own 'salam perantau', hehehe :p

afterwards, i had to send n3mah off, bye n3mah! and then we headed to feeza's house who waited patiently for us at ttdi, hehe :>

the day ended with me feeling HAPPY and laughing at all the pics, hihi ;)

and the next day was a brand new day for me + zahrah because we decided to resume our jalan2 raya and that day was at kl. we went to n3mah's house, her ever-so-sweet aunt, my roommate's house, n3mah & milah lived near! and lastly, in the late afternoon, n3mah's and zahrah's friend.

i reallyyy had a GREAT time those 2 days, like as if i have nothing at all to worry and then when i come back home, and there's a BIG notice i wrote myself, FINALS...

huhu...happy happy eid mubarak everyone! what if it's your last raya?! what then??!!

Happy Birthday Kamilah!

Assalamualaikum :)

today is the 5th day of eid mubarak and i have started my puasa sunat 6 syawal since i'm not doing much today except cleaning the house from top to bottom and i started with cleaning my bedroom fan, haha so that when i get rashes, then i would sit in front of the fan with maximum speed and because there's no more dust and dirt therefore i would get the FULL BLAST of the fan and it's so cool and my rashes would go away and i would have to resume cleaning without getting all flustered and itchy, huhu :D

i have also started studying for my finals and i get sooo bored because there's so many to read! when will come a day when we don't have to read for the sake of exams?! reallyyy...

tomorrow, according to an sms i got from zahrah, my schoolmates will probably be convoi raya and i can't wait because we would always try to do it every year but we missed a couple of years since many of us can't make it so that's y i'm eagerly waiting for tomorrow! :]

today, 17th October is also my bestest best friend's birthday, KAMILAH BT AHMAD@AHMADDIAH so...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILAH!!!!
sweet 22, oh, you're just as old as me, hehe :p
firstly, is the same ol wishes for you: may Allah give you longevity, bless you always, grant your wishes, make your dreams come true and save a place for you in Jannah :)
then, i would like to say:

THANK YOU for being patient when dealing with my OCD,
SORRY if it sometimes really bugs you!
THANK YOU for being tolerant when i get crazy, i know you always think i have a loose screw somewhere [i do not!]
THANK YOU for ALWAYS making me laugh, yes, you ALWAYS do!
THANK YOU for the times when you console me, it doesn't really matter what you say just as long as you're there :)
SORRY because whenever i'm hurt, i tend to close up, and then when you try to pry me open, sometimes i opened up otherwise i just clammed shut and i know u get all frustrated, huhu
SORRY that i hate to sweep the bedroom floor, i do, i do, uwaa!!!

the list could go on, but lemme just say that kamilah and i have been ROOMMATES for 4 years now and we would like to remain as long as God Willing. i think that not many people have a relationship like me and milah whereby sometimes, we would pick a fight, annoy each other, talked until late at night, laugh our heads off and so much more and no matter what, we would always be together, INSYAALLAH forever :))

i love you milah! (you better read this!)
and i want us to change for the better each and everyday and see each other in Jannah soon, ameen :))

Happy Raya!

Assalamualaikum :)

Happy Hari Raya Aidilfitri to everyone and Maaf Zahir Batin, do forgive and forget my mistakes and everyone is welcome to visit my humble house :)

so there are many differences this raya compared to past years. firstly, the most obvious one, that is, mai is not here, sob...actually i refrain myself from not crying when i talked to mai over the phone. we talked for at least one hour and i kinda got all teary eyed but i managed not to cry, i do miss you mai and it's really not the same without you :'(

secondly, the whole family forgotten about the digicam! argh!!! i got so frustrated because eventhough i don't like to show off the pictures but i love taking em for personal collection. well, who doesn't?! since the era of digicam, it's like a MUST esp for celebrations! so we had to borrow my cousins and let's just say that it's not the same, sighhh~

so two of my cousins are married on my mother's side and the eldest has a baby, cutie arif hakimi and everybody can't get enough of him since it's been too looong that my mother's side haven't got a baby to fuss over and kimi became the apple of everyone's eye :)
i esp like to take care of cute-cute babies, hehe :)

the setting of my kampung has also change. there's an extra room downstairs that used to be part of the living room. therefore, the living room has became smaller [and hotter!] but nicer! this is mainly due to my aunt who decorated the house with many of her made-from-scotland ornaments since she studied her phd there. however, the house has also gotten eXtra dust so my siblings and i kept having a sneezing fit, achoo!! (yes, indeed, i'm actually sneezing right now! and mai, this time, mawaddah bought the olbas oil for everyone's convenience, hehe)

on the other hand, some things never change, because there's still the satay, nasi beriyani and laksa in the raya morning. but, i don't really fancy the chicken satay and the nasi beriyani this time doesn't have the chicken dish to go with it, sob..
nway, we still go to the same houses like usual, abah's relative in Pulau Rusa: the house near the car workshop, the house which had burned years ago now has a stunning nissan latio on the porch, the house which served fizzy drinks but we always declined, the house with abah's bedridden aunt, the house with the delicious lontong and the house with the very delightful ketupat BUT unfortunately for my family who always eat their ketupat, it was just finished when we came, oh sob! it's a good thing there was a really super cute baby for diversion, hehe :p

that was the first day of raya, whereas for the second day, we mostly went to my mother's relatives and i kept eating this time around, oh uh...

tomorrow is the third day for raya and every year, that day would go to my father's side in Kemaman for the family gathering. i heard there's nasi dagang and i really like Terengganu's nasi dagang! yummy!

you know what, maybe i shouldn't be too ignorant about learning the Terengganu dialect, reallyyy i should but i sound funny when i do, huhu :p

so i'm home..

Assalamualaikum :)

Alhamdulillah, i reached home this morning, 10th Oct, abah mama went and fetch me, because now i'm like the the child who's having problems with transportation (coz the car is just about okay) and so kena la ngada2 sket :p

i'm reallyyy glad to be at home because i just want to relax with the pleasures of my family's company and all the other pleasures [streamyx, tv, car, glorious all-you-can eat food and i'm drinking orange peel fresh right now] hehe ;D

but...i also dread the thought that the house will be empty...the feeling of emptiness will shroud me because my dearest mai sis won't be at home and i know we'll all will feel it...not to mention when it's eid :(

ok2, i don't want to make mai sad when she reads it so better change the topic. tomorrow morning, right after subuh, is balik kampung and though abah warned us kids to not fall asleep in the car but as our head leans back on the plushy cushion, we'll all be dozing off and abah will be driving alone because sometimes mama would sleep too, hehe, it just tickles me because i remembered when i drove to Terengganu and mama practically made everyone shift, so that some will be talking to me, and others can sleep, hehehe ;)

i know that everyone reads my blog using mozilla and i know that it's pretty defective right now and that just pisses me off but i intend to change it in my sem break, not now nway but i want to reiterate to the people that read my blog, do open it in internet explorer! because then it'll be really grand and not like when you open it in mozilla, oh sob!

so in the newspaper, the Palestinians celebrated the 27th night of Ramadhan believed to be the night of Laylat Al-Qadr and so we ponder, what did we do on that respective night?! what did i do...hmm...apart from taraweeh, i think i did my assignment until the wee hours and then i'm not sure whether i woke up for sahur , wuu :s

Ya Allah, i don't want to be left behind...

10 days of Ramadhan

"Salam Ukhuwah, Para Mujahidah yang dikasihi, we are entering into the last 10 days of Ramadhan. What these last 10 days means? YES! LESS eat, LESS sleep, LESS chat, MORE du'a, MORE solat, MORE Quran recitation, MORE generous. Especially us in this level, multiply, intensify our effort to grab every minute of our time to SEEK the PLEASURE of the AlMighty, this is the ULTIMATE SUBMISSION!

Aisyah r.a said Rasulullah was like a different person as he was too engrossed in his ibadat, was more generous and was seen giving charity like strong wind gushing through dried leaves.
May ALLAH grant us the strength and reward us with the LAILATUL QADR, where angels led by ArcAngel Jibrail descend from the above heavens to be with the believers and recite AMIN to every du'a that the believers made and be with them for the rest of the night till fajr. WHAT a WONDERFUL experience.
Please I urge everyone of us to make du'a for one another. Amin."

so it's the last 10 days of Ramadhan and these words are beautiful! it gives me a sense of the need to really perform in this last few days of Ramadhan and have i done enough?! maybe sadly no because i'm ever so not perfect but i gotta at least try...

it bothers me that i still have 2 big assignments and i kinda get all huffy puffy about the lecturer for doing this to my coursemates and i :<

but these are the challenges and i need to face em in order to balance my JERI - [my fitness, so as not to eat too much, my emotions, so as to keep my heart serene and berlapang dada, my spiritual being esp doing all the ibadah in this Ramadhan, and my intelect namely my academic, the finals are near!]

pray for me while i pray for you :)

thanks to kak aalaa, http://alaks.blogspot.com
visit her blog quick! ;D

time is running out!

Assalamualaikum -_-

y the smiley you ask...

because i'm feeling ever so sleepyyy --
it's just after taraweeh prayers and i kept my eyes shut when it was the last prayer, huhu..

y again...

because a lecturer has just given the last assignment in week 12 and now it's week 13 and it's a biggie assignment at that and i'm not the type to stay up way late at night but because i'm finding it hard to cope, so i need all the time i can to finish up the assignment!

so i try to finish up the assignment, staying up late, maximum until 2am and then i wake up 4.45am for sahur and i try not to sleep after subuh prayers. if i can't keep my eyes open, i usually try to sleep from 7am to 8am, a maximum of 1 hour. i try my best to fight the sleep demon but there are times that i fail. one of the ways to keep awake is to eat but that habit will end up making me fatty! :s

i reallyyy am messed up right now, because i feel ever so sleepy lately everytime i try to restrain myself but i have to struggle not to sleep! sometimes i end up getting an eye shut in class resulting in me feeling embaressed and missing out on the important stuffs.

in the past, at boarding school, i had no qualms whatsoever if i slept at class, hahaha :p
it was like as if it was okay to put my head down and dozed off, Ya Allah...maluuuunyeeelaaaa pk2 balik, hahaha :p
now, in university, i grip myself ever so hard to be discipline, and not to sleep when priority calls!

gimme some tips people /:>

Dialogue in UM with foreign students

Assalamualaikum :)

last saturday, i was chosen to represent my university to UM, the first ranking university in Malaysia for an interactive dialogue session with foreign students residing there. the place was at Ungku Aziz Residential College and when i step out of the bus, there was a BIG welcome with a reallyyy friendly procession of people playing the kompang and the college principal and all the felo and some of the foreign students and i felt totally cool especially since i had to wear a blazer :D

the dialogue was not really formal since it was just us wearing formal attire and the local UM students whereas the foreign students wore anything they prefer as there was even this one Iranian guy who just walked in wearing his night shirt and shorts and looking disheveled and kept on yawning, huhu and i bet he got away with it because he was good looking, huhu..

nway, the dialogue was to exposed the UPSI students taking major in Bahasa to foreign students and learning more about their culture and customs plus the education system back in their country and i was imported basically to support them especially if they had any problem in english. well, they did but they were also shy, most of them just didn't want to talk so they pushed me to talk...of course i don't mind but i wanted to give them the chance because this was a reallyyy good opportunity that don't come all the time so they should really grab it! actually they don't have to worry about speaking broken english because the foreign students also had broken english so basically as long as the meaning gets across then it's fine.

the foreign students (as usual) were fascinating. they were from yemen, iraq, iran, saudi arabia, somalia, sudan, nigeria, china, indonesia, japan, austria, germany and did i miss anything else...
most of them got a chance to talk and it was super duper interesting!! the iranian guys were good looking, the indonesian girls were so cute, soemtimes i think the nigerian guy spoke african, hehe, the germany guy had problems adapting to the weather, the sudanese guy said that women in his country are not allowed to further their studies [i think i kinda knew that]. two chinese guys from beijing are taking major in bahasa malaysia because they fell in love with the country {whoa!}

the breaking of fast was extremely delightful and the place where we perform prayers was really pleasant. overall, the treatment from both local and foreign students were good-natured and i had a REALLYYY GOOD TIME!!!! :))

we should really get to know foreign students better, why? because Islam encourages it and by setting a good example, they too could fall in love with the perfect religion :)

why...didja think that i would say, fall in love with me?! huhu :p