Bismillah, Assalamualaikum 
So what did I learn from my pre-marital course?
1. It's good if you have a friend to accompany you because I didn't so I got a bit lonely. plus, there was no one to giggle with at all the hilarious jokes the ustaz kept cracking!
2. JAIS is okay. In front of the Masjid Shah Alam and before section 9 Concorde Hotel. Register at least a week before only by giving your name and IC via phone. it's on weekends at 8am until 5pm. Fee RM80 including meals and a file and inside the file, there are books on marriage and doa2 and a notebook and pen :D
3. Practically all couples came in..couples! I did feel a twinge of jealousy watching em all being lovey dovey with the girl having the guy on their arm and the guy waiting for the girl to finish so they can go together but hey, they're not married so I shouldn't be feeling this way and better save my green-eyed monster to come out when I do see other halal couples. I messaged Zahrah to keep myself from feeling drowsy and she gave me brilliant words - Dare to be Different! Thanks Zahrah, it actually made me swell up in pride because I knew then that I was doing something that was not different in the eyes of God, Alhamdulillah :)
4. A lot of ustaz were comical and crack really uproarious jokes that some of those anecdotes made me in stitches and I couldn't stop the tears welling up from all those laughing. I really liked it that these ustaz were not only entertaining but also readily shared their experiences and enlightened me on their work concerning muslim marriages. However, I also realized that these ustaz perhaps needed to come up with these kinds of funny stories as today's generation don't prefer much to listen on serious matters. Are we too preoccupied with what we do that if these courses were not made compulsory then we would not even think to attend? and some of us only wanted to go to get that green light to marry? and the girl next to me said that if there was any form of recitation of Quran then she wouldn't have come at all! so is that it? that's why all the ustaz have to be equipped with charms and charisma to attract us all? and what if some ustaz go overboard with the jokes and talk less on what really matters? then my generation would not even be bothered to get to know about talak, fasakh and nusyuz and such. and then all those domestic conflicts happen and that's why there's news that Terengganu has the highest divorce rates and all and whatnot, hmm...
5. Honeymoon is a must! but only for those married couples who can afford it. hehe, I just had to put this statement :p
6. I didn't learn this in pre-marital course but rather from the news but it does seem interesting to insert this - Starting Jan 1 next year, the "mas kahwin" or dowry rate in Selangor will be fixed at RM300. I don't know what to make of this because I thought that RM80 was already a good deal. I hope my future husband would not be burden by this and that I would not allow myself to be swept away by other people's perception on the dowry and the money gift. The dowry can be a part of the "duit hantaran" or money gift but then again, people in Shah Alam have a tendency to want to outbid each other in this era of modernisation and I strongly blame Malaysians' artists and the wealthy rich for this plus it doesn't help that the media publisized the amount.
So what are the requirements in an Islamic Marriage Contract?
1. Groom (check :p)
2. Bride (can't wait :p)
3. Wali (Abah)
4. Ijab Qabul
5. 2 witnesses
and Mama said that I need to brush up on my cooking skills so she wants to add that to an informal list she made for me, tee hee :p
So what did I learn from my pre-marital course?
1. It's good if you have a friend to accompany you because I didn't so I got a bit lonely. plus, there was no one to giggle with at all the hilarious jokes the ustaz kept cracking!
2. JAIS is okay. In front of the Masjid Shah Alam and before section 9 Concorde Hotel. Register at least a week before only by giving your name and IC via phone. it's on weekends at 8am until 5pm. Fee RM80 including meals and a file and inside the file, there are books on marriage and doa2 and a notebook and pen :D
3. Practically all couples came in..couples! I did feel a twinge of jealousy watching em all being lovey dovey with the girl having the guy on their arm and the guy waiting for the girl to finish so they can go together but hey, they're not married so I shouldn't be feeling this way and better save my green-eyed monster to come out when I do see other halal couples. I messaged Zahrah to keep myself from feeling drowsy and she gave me brilliant words - Dare to be Different! Thanks Zahrah, it actually made me swell up in pride because I knew then that I was doing something that was not different in the eyes of God, Alhamdulillah :)
4. A lot of ustaz were comical and crack really uproarious jokes that some of those anecdotes made me in stitches and I couldn't stop the tears welling up from all those laughing. I really liked it that these ustaz were not only entertaining but also readily shared their experiences and enlightened me on their work concerning muslim marriages. However, I also realized that these ustaz perhaps needed to come up with these kinds of funny stories as today's generation don't prefer much to listen on serious matters. Are we too preoccupied with what we do that if these courses were not made compulsory then we would not even think to attend? and some of us only wanted to go to get that green light to marry? and the girl next to me said that if there was any form of recitation of Quran then she wouldn't have come at all! so is that it? that's why all the ustaz have to be equipped with charms and charisma to attract us all? and what if some ustaz go overboard with the jokes and talk less on what really matters? then my generation would not even be bothered to get to know about talak, fasakh and nusyuz and such. and then all those domestic conflicts happen and that's why there's news that Terengganu has the highest divorce rates and all and whatnot, hmm...
5. Honeymoon is a must! but only for those married couples who can afford it. hehe, I just had to put this statement :p
6. I didn't learn this in pre-marital course but rather from the news but it does seem interesting to insert this - Starting Jan 1 next year, the "mas kahwin" or dowry rate in Selangor will be fixed at RM300. I don't know what to make of this because I thought that RM80 was already a good deal. I hope my future husband would not be burden by this and that I would not allow myself to be swept away by other people's perception on the dowry and the money gift. The dowry can be a part of the "duit hantaran" or money gift but then again, people in Shah Alam have a tendency to want to outbid each other in this era of modernisation and I strongly blame Malaysians' artists and the wealthy rich for this plus it doesn't help that the media publisized the amount.
So what are the requirements in an Islamic Marriage Contract?
1. Groom (check :p)
2. Bride (can't wait :p)
3. Wali (Abah)
4. Ijab Qabul
5. 2 witnesses
and Mama said that I need to brush up on my cooking skills so she wants to add that to an informal list she made for me, tee hee :p
9 comments:
Salam dear kak Maddy,
I just want to share something about marriage
..kami( ani n husband) berjumpa ngan pak imam yang bakal menikahkan kami sblum upacara akad nikah..waktu tu the pak imam asked us, how many mas kwin would your husband give to u? I was so blur and confused then i asked him back, "sallu org bg berapa? berapa plg rendah?". the ustaz said "80 ringgit plg rendah". I said , so i go with 80 ringgit la kan, my hubby pun blur2, there was my abah there in the meeting...i asked my abah, that ustaz said "don ask ur abah, u decide urself"..MM.. kitorang cam weng-weng je time tu..
Pak ima terangngkan dgn pjg lebarnya----zaman skrg tak macm dulu, kita mas kawin ikut kos hidup , zmn dulu 80 ringgit sgt cukup dan terlebih2 sbb beras murah dan segalanya murah, skarang ni dah lain, ini umpama hadiah buat wanita, laki takleh sentuh, ape salahnya ikot kehendak semasa, beri hadiah buat isteri, dan bole tolak daripada hantaran tu, same je,katelah hantaran 8000, tolak mas kawin 80 ringgit,jd 7920..still duit tu, suami yg bagi, tak sentuh..kalu tolak mas kawin 1000 ringgit, bakinya 7 000,.. stil duit tu suami bg, tak sentuh (nampak tak konsep ni ?)...mas kawin 80 ringgit tu dari zaman duluuuu tu, yg jauh beza dgn kehendak semasa sekarang (logik gak ustaz ni ckp bile pk balik and my hubby was totally agree with his justification), lg pun, masakan suami mahu menyentuh mas kawin+hantaran kita sesuka hati kan...
we as a muslim shud follow the current changes as long as it does not break Islamic rules and morality because Islam is universal, islam tidak jumud kan kak maddy? ;)...
There must be several of relevant reasons why JAIS did that, thus, org pakar agama yg memutuskan dan setuju begitu, kita mungkin tak nampak sbb kita tak berada dalam urusan JAIS, andai tidak betul, pasti ramai kalangan ustaz membantah dgn keras kan?...
Waa..panjangnye kan..saje nak share experience :)
4:44 AM
nak pinjam buku doa2 itu! hahah~
yup...you can....hehehe
pray all the best for you my dear.....
ainul ilyani:
THANK YOU for your stories and enlightenment and everything, i do appreciate everything you're telling me :)
i do not oppose the increments of the dowry but i pity some who might have troubles with RM300 because i had thought that RM80 was okay and not bad. of course, like i also mentioned, the dowry can be inserted as part of the hantaran but then again, some people have different perceptions on this and in shah alam, it sorta seems like a competition. i'm not kidding ani. so i hope i would be immune to that. sometimes we don't care but ya know, when we get marry, we involved our parents and relatives and they wanna have their say too so we have to consider a lot of things.
nonetheless, i do know better, InsyaAllah :)
well..whatever it is, i agree with u,artis-artis selalu menjadi contoh(but not for me, sorii!hihi).so org ramai pon nak ikot2 hingga sanggup berhutang besa..when u mentioned about family and relatives!i kno, true..we hav to consider a loooot of things..
i remember my hubby told me one great story pada Zaman Umar Abdul Aziz, zaman tu kedudukan masyarakat berkemampuan hingga tiada siapa berkelayakan menerima zakat hinggalah die offer, sape nak kawin akan disupport! waa.great! amatlah mudah utk kawin pd zmn itu!tak sempat agaknya kite nak merasai kegemilangan Islam macam tu ;(
well, Malay shud change in term of mentality, u kno, religion comes first then barulah adat n whatsoever...
so happy that you've gone for the course! just want to add that, yes - i actually agree that in the effort to make marriage courses more appealing to our generation, the authorities should not lose sight of the whole point of these courses in the first place. there is a lot that's important to know and it's high time people realized that. some people argue that it wasn't necessary for our parents and it shouldn't be for us. they forget that previous generations actually seem to have a better grip on religion than we do. so if this is something that we do need then so be it. i know i wouldn't want my marriage jeopardized just because either my husband or myself didn't know a few things that we should have known.
PoetryGirl:
WELL SAID! ;D
it is always imperative to take steps to prevent the muslims community from crumbling and this is one em ;)
awwwwwwwwwwwww waannnn i never expected you would this kinda post. heheheh.
omg im missing out a lot nih. kene catch up balik hehe
cey cey. i like this part:
groom (checked)
:)
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