I wish I wanted a DSLR

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum






Don't tell me to 'pejam celik pejam celik!' because I get snappy!

SNAP SNAP!! SNAPPITY SNAP!!

or I might just do this to you!

There's a lot of things in my mind right now but I rather talk about NKRA

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



On Wednesday, 3rd March 2010, I didn't have to go to school, whee!! But it wasn't exactly whee!! because I had to wake up early for an interview that's relevant to my career (really?!).


The funniest thing was the interviewer only asked me on NKRA which thankfully I had been studying. But I was a bit exasperated because I was ready to be tested on any CCTS questions but none came so I walked out of the room dissapointed, LOL :p but of course beaming because I answered everything accordingly, InsyaAllah XD


So what did I answered:


National Key Results Areas (NKRAs) have been identified by the government for implementation. They are; enhancing quality of education, upgrading public transportation, reducing corruption, reducing crime, upgrading rural infrastructure and upgrading low income household.


The ambitious plan may certainly look good on paper, but the real challenge for the government – as always – lies in the execution phase. and well, let's just say that - yes, the target is good and yes, it does need a lot of work BUT is it really to the expense of teachers having excessive unnecessary workloads that leads to the latest news?!


Teachers plan demo over irrelevant workload.
(Click for the news)


So what gives?

The investment must achieve the objective of ensuring that each student received optimum education depending on their capacity but what of my lower proficient students? Shouldn't they be exempted from taking PMR and SPM? I wanna avoid saying that they can't do it but my heart breaks everytime they constrain themselves just to get a certificate that, according to a whole lot of people, determines something for them. and what is that something may I ask?


Heck, I believe in some of them but what if this is not from an
inspiring-teacher-really-makes-a-difference-story and what if the reality hits harder than that? and what if you don't know anything because you actually never been there and done that?


and what if I stop using the words what if?


How about I geddit all wrong? But at the same time, I know that without those 2 exams, my students would be much better learners and I don't have to teach my students for exams and do drilling all the time because like I said in my Facebook;


why do people always say that "you need to teach more fun things to your students!" like how much fun can you teach if the rural students just dun geddit and how much more fun can you go if the exam is getting nearer?!


I don't settle and neither should my students. full stop.

You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



Sometimes when the going gets tough and the tough gets going and I become all messed up, I impatiently want a solution! I don't want conforting or cliche words, I want rapid actions and I throw a tantrum because I want it now and now cannot wait!!


But sometimes the solution is not something that I like. but alas~ it is something that Allah willed it to be~


So this song is very much comforting...


Someday by Rob Thomas


You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

[Chorus]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be so warm

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

But never forget to just Istighfar, be cool, calm and collected and remember Allah all the time :)

What is with you must vanish: what is with Allah will endure. And We will certainly bestow, on those who patiently persevere their reward according to the best of their actions.
An-Nahl [16:96]

I've always wanted a TIGER!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum


Maybe the lack of updates is because everyone is into Facebook or Twitter nowadays, and blogs are slowly diminishing and only if you are highly entertaining or paid then people would read your blog, huhu, that's probably the case, I mean, nobody would want to read the happenings of an English teacher struggling and grappling in teaching even simple English to her students, sob sob :(


Oh well, this particular English teacher have always wanted a tiger especially after the recent Readers Digest published the article about Christian the Lion, I want! I want!





Of course there are trillions of other videos but I just love this song that matches perfectly to the story, isn't it the most touching thing ever! and its all true I tell ya! I would trade in my car for a lion! I mean, a tiger! hahaha :p


So if there are any occasions that requires you to present me with a gift then you know what I want right? pwetty pls~


But in the meantime, here's my tiger guarding my car for me...and providing the tissues of course!



I miss the one who gave this to me :(

the 1st week is the hardest and the rest of the weeks just follow

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

Last year when I got posted in the middle of the year, I was just a teacher and my role was just to educate and in layman's term = teach! I was lucky that while some of my coursemates had posts that required them to busied themselves, I had none whatsoever and only had the responsibility to compel Form 3 and 5 students to pass PMR and SPM (actually come to think of it, it was pretty stressful :p)


With the new year, everything's changed. The country won't allow me to just teach, I had to get my hands on administrative and secretarial works and boy, lemme tell you that +teaching, everything's become such a mouthful!


The 1st week was the hardest because there were just sooooo much to learn for a greenhorn like me. All those new info, data, facts and figures and fresh knowledge were soooo much I'm surprised I didn't crash! When I look back, I thought I handled everything pretty well because I've always been an organized person and always list down everything I had to do and reminded myself to prioritize what was important first and get back on the least matters second BUT (and a BIG BUT) was that I have OCD and sometimes my OCD drags me down. My OCD always pesters me to do things in sequence even though the things are not in my priority list so I'm almost always constantly fighting in turmoil about what to do. Yes, its pretty shocking and it may look silly but I continuously control my OCD from getting out of hand. and don't tell me I'm being ridiculous, coz you wait till you have OCD! Grrr...


One of my 2010 post was a class teacher of 5 RAJIN. I remembered I was happy that I got a Form 5 class because I like the upper form better than the lower form but my face dropped when I found out that 5 Rajin was the second last class (and every form has 5 classes so my class was the 4th out of 5 classes). I know I'm being unfair, I don't even know the kids in that class yet but I'm being all bias but lemme tell you that dealing with the not-so-academically-inclined students have not been such a good experience for me (like I have that many experiences!). and who wouldn't want the good classes?


My suppositions turned out to be true as the majority of 5 Rajin (am going to start calling this class 5 Diligent) came out to be the opposite of their name! and I as the class teacher am annoyed! The majority of the pupils are Malay boys and all they do is talk boisterously about how 'otai' they are and showing off that they are super seniors of the school, huh! Well, I always talk em down on that and then they start to come to their senses! Hmph! There are only 3 Malay girls and they're okay except that they're slow learners! and these Malay students cannot even obtain a credit for their Form 4 BM paper and just merely pass, hmm...The Chinese boys and girls are lazy and the hardworking ones don't even understand a word of Malay let alone English! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! On another note, the Indians' guys and gals are much better. Not only are they receptive but they are also interactive so sometimes I tend to ignore any of the noise-makers and just focus on the ones who want to learn!


However, my nature is that I CARE! Despite the students having -ve attributes, I still pull them aside after my lessons and give them pep talks or badger them in class in between my lessons! I like the pep talk part because I see that some students are beginning to change in terms of bucking up but I dislike the part where I have to nag and sound like an old hag, huhu.


I don't care or even mind that they don't like the English language what with lack of exposure and perhaps the realization that the language would probably be no use to them in the future BUT they have to acquire at least some basic stuffs about this foreign language and because the Powers To Be tell them to. Life is unfair I tell em and I wouldn't be teaching em English if I can help it, I might as well be teaching em more about life because my heart does go out to em~


Speaking of that, when I did the register whereby I needed to collect my students' details, I was overwhelmed at my students' background. The majority of them came from poor uneducated families and some of their parents earn around RM500-RM800 a month! I ain't kidding! I was so sad and try to empathize with my students and that's why I refused to let em rot away in class and do nothing except learn! They look scruffy and may not be prone to academics but they should at least be motivated in wanting to change their state of life! Nik Nur Madihah was even poorer than some of them but with Islam, Iman and the need to be someone and something in her life, she kept strong-minded to succeed and she did, Allah bless her :)



She has the same name as me and she's SO inspiring that I always talk about her to my students! If she can do it, why not any of us? She's an excellent example of a person who puts her religion first and from then on, she pushes the gas and smoothly drives to her destination! Wish I could meet her, is she reading this? hehe.


I have TONS of things to tell and I'm going to keep on writing because for my students and my readers, I have this story to go by:


There's a firm belief that each and everyone of us is here on earth to make a difference in the lives of those around us. No one is insignificant and no random act of kindness too small.

Early one morning as a Grandfather and his grandson were walking along the beach they came across a starfish that had washed up on the shore during high tide.

The grandson reached down and gently picked up the starfish, still moist and alive. "It's beautiful, Grandpa, what's going to happen to it?" the boy asked.

The grandfather replied that the starfish would eventually die. Sensing his grandson's sadness, he quickly explained it was okay because the starfish would become a source of food for other sea creatures. He told the boy that he should not be sad because it is all part of the cycle of life.

The boy replied, "You mean it's going to die, grandpa?"

A few minutes later, the grandfather sat down to read his newspaper and enjoy his morning coffee. After awhile, he noticed that his grandson had wandered down the beach. He called out, "Son, what are you doing?"

The young boy paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing the starfish back into the ocean."

"I can see that. I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing the starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"Oh, son, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. Not only on this beach, but thousands of beaches all around the world."

"You can't possibly make a difference!"

With childlike wisdom the grandson politely listened. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, far past the breaking waves. The young boy said, "That is true, but ... I am making all the difference in the world to just this one."

Make a difference in just one person's life today with a big smile or a kind word or deed. Its call throwing starfish.

What's a starfish? It's an act of kindness, a courtesy. It is the gift of thoughtfulness or just being polite. It's a word of encouragement or an expression of appreciation.

No matter how small or insignificant it may be. Throw it. It will make all the difference in the world.


and even though I may not be able to transform ALL of my students' life but at least I could and would change 1 and that ONE person would be all it takes, InsyaAllah!

Resolutions? pfft

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



I am still a teacher. and I'm terrified at the thought of my waning passion. I want it back even though some days can be gloomy. a class teacher and the teacher in charge of the Green Team for the school sports day, yay! not.


I still am trying to control my overeating problem. I should reduce intake of fatty foods but then I love to eat and eat and eat. I also love to travel and eat. I wanna be the host of Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan = eat + travel! I should eat oats or muesli or jus mate :p I reallyyy need to exercise more.


I wanna be more patient esp with my students. Actually I am already patient but the students always test the waters. Can I not get angry for a year? Please...is temper flaring inevitable even for 365 days? sheesh...


I gotta read more to feed my ramping spiritual soul~


and I wanna be more inspirational and inspiring so I need inspirations.


But above all;


Therefore stand firm (in the straight path) as thou art commanded― thou and those who with thee turn (unto Allah); and transgress not (from the Path): for He seeth well all that ye do.
Hud [11:112]

2009 in pictures!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

January

I remember that 2009 would be quite a year for me especially that even at the beginning of the year, some events were inevitable like finishing studies, posting and graduation but of course, there were always surprises even in small packages :)

My first Chinese New Year Celebration at Leann's Open House, thank you Leann ^_^

If I could give an example of a true 1Malaysian, then it would be Leann, my coursemate, she not only has complimentary attributes but she made quite an effort for us to enjoy eating and experiencing CNY at her home, and it help that some of her relatives are Muslim who had done the cooking for us Malays and that all the cutlery were brand new, aaaawww shucks <3

February

Nothing much happened in this month maybe because I was still busy studying and completing my project paper. I remembered that it was one hectic semester! Nonetheless, we coursemates had ample time to breakaway from the stress and so I organized Paintball which was cool and I wish to play again but dunno when.

March

Again, March was studying and studying and more of studying esp that exam was around the corner but in between burning the midnight oil, I was involved in 2 cool sports event! Can you guess?

April

And so the studying was over with Finals meaning that my course studies of 6 years were also done, phew~

Wow! What 6 years! It had been amazing! and it was also enuff. Time for a new beginning :D

May

I remembered touring the whole Perlis state, eating Perlis food and going to Padang Besar bedazzled by the cheap girly things like brooches and jewelry. Next time would be Kelantan, Sabah and Sarawak no?

With the exams finally over, my coursemates and I were rope in to do works for our lecturers, and I dunno about the rest of my friends but I had loved being an editor! You'll see me again in major newspapers and magazines this time, count on it!

and last but not least, was my coursemates grand exit from our institution of higher learning, our Storytelling Concert!

June

and so GOODBYE degree, GOODBYE coursemates of TESL IPSAH-UPSI 2003-2009, till we meet again! of course, 2010 holds much better days for both you and me, InsyaAllah :)

My beloved parents rewarded me with an escapade to see Mai Sis! Whee!!

(Alhamdulillah :)

London


Leicestershire

Paris

and I miss all these places sooooo much!! I wanna go again soooooo much!!


So right here, right now, I wanna write down my dreams:

I wish I may, I wish I might, to go further my studies specifically in England, InsyaAllah, Ameen =))

and I thought 2009 was the year for me~

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

July

It was a great start for July as a dazzling event happened ;-*

I also had my first experience staying at a Homestay with my parents. I have to say that it wasn't much fun sharing toilets with others and not that comfortable like in a hotel but it was still cool enlivened the fresh air of the village, the BBQ, the fishing and the things that you don't really get in a city.

I also got the opportunity to babysit my favourite cousins and this is Aqila insisting she gets to hold Alia who was born on February and a baby I couldn't get enuff of!

And last but not least, I was posted to Pahang, or more precisely KEMAYAN, nearby Bera Lake, the largest natural freshwater swamp in Peninsular Malaysia. It is categorized rural and sorta a cowboy town but it doesn't mean that I have to ride a boat or raft or something to get to my school. Some people can be soooo, I dunno, just because I say I'm in somewhere rustic, you don't hafta imagine me living in such a despair and giving me sympathetic ooo's and aaa's but if you must, then imagine the boredom I get because I can't do much in a place like that. At least, if I do hafta ride a boat, I might go fishing or crocodile hunting huh :D

August

I graduated with Honours, Alhamdulillah *_*

and it was also the last time (for God knows when that time will be again) that I met up with all of my coursemates of 6 years! Of course I do hope to meet them again soon and soon would be my impending ehem ehem :p

Me Birthday! One cake, Kaswina surprise me with and another big fat one I surprise my family with because this month was also the month I receive my first paycheck! Another thing about working was that it was also the first time I had to stay in a rented home because I had never done so when I was studying. So basically, I'm learning to stay at a home faraway from home and managing my finances all on my own :-s

What a big girl I am now, tee hee :p

September

I traded in my 12 year old Wira to a Myvi similar to this colour because Wira just couldn't make it anymore down the Karak Road because I go back home every weekend, yes, pls don't look so shock, its only a 3 hour drive and if I speed, I would make it home less than 3 hours plus I carpool with Kaswina alternately every week so we save cost and fuel, smart huh ;>

Eid Mubarak! These are all my little most adorable cousins all eagerly lighting that fire crackers with adult supervision of course and that would be me :p

October

This month was my BFFJ, Nadiah's wedding, considered as the wedding of the year for me! I was there to witness practically everything except the sparks leading to the marriage, that one, you have to read NuttyNad's blog and be going aaaaawwww because it was sho shweet!

November

When I got posted to Pahang, altho I didn't like the thought of it and still dread going back everytime, I stayed +ve ^_^

I guess I have always been a +ve person and I did embrace Pahang starting with the place I got posted to and I went to Pekan, Teluk Cempedak and Tanjong Lumpur (the best seafood, highly recommended!!)

Pekan, the place of birth of our now Prime Minister. Located on the banks of the Pahang River 50 km south of Kuantan, Pekan is the royal town of the Malaysian state of Pahang Darul Makmur. Its name comes from a flower, the Bunga Pekan. Pekan is also the name of the district the town is situated in, and a parliamentary constituency in its own right. It is the home of the state's royal family and it may seem like a cowboy town to many but it has its sophistication in some parts of the town!

Teluk Cempedak, beautiful and attractive! I dunno if you can really swim swim because I noticed a red flag but some people were just stupidly brave.

The state mosque is stunning and this Asma Ul Husna silver metallic 'tree' was emblazoned in front of the mosque and it was magnifique plus hot under the scorching sun!

My school had an end of year ceremony with BBQ and me winning 1st prize in the ping pong match done earlier on in the day. This is some of the teachers in my school and did I mention that the best part of my school was my colleagues, well, yes, if it weren't for them, I don't think I would have survived!

Singapore was a brilliant trip thanks to Zahrah <3

Next year InsyaAllah there will be more and more and wait a minute, perhaps not that much but still, there will be, hehe ;)

December

This month has not ended yet so perhaps there will be other pictures but in the meantime, when my parents went to UAE, I had a slumber party with my BESTEST coursemates, Wani, Nani and Milah.

Coming up! 2010 resolution...or not :p


[I wish I got the date Friday, 1.1.2010 sigghhh~]

So does that mean I can get marry now?

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum


So what did I learn from my pre-marital course?


1. It's good if you have a friend to accompany you because I didn't so I got a bit lonely. plus, there was no one to giggle with at all the hilarious jokes the ustaz kept cracking!


2. JAIS is okay. In front of the Masjid Shah Alam and before section 9 Concorde Hotel. Register at least a week before only by giving your name and IC via phone. it's on weekends at 8am until 5pm. Fee RM80 including meals and a file and inside the file, there are books on marriage and doa2 and a notebook and pen :D


3. Practically all couples came in..couples! I did feel a twinge of jealousy watching em all being lovey dovey with the girl having the guy on their arm and the guy waiting for the girl to finish so they can go together but hey, they're not married so I shouldn't be feeling this way and better save my green-eyed monster to come out when I do see other halal couples. I messaged Zahrah to keep myself from feeling drowsy and she gave me brilliant words - Dare to be Different! Thanks Zahrah, it actually made me swell up in pride because I knew then that I was doing something that was not different in the eyes of God, Alhamdulillah :)


4. A lot of ustaz were comical and crack really uproarious jokes that some of those anecdotes made me in stitches and I couldn't stop the tears welling up from all those laughing. I really liked it that these ustaz were not only entertaining but also readily shared their experiences and enlightened me on their work concerning muslim marriages. However, I also realized that these ustaz perhaps needed to come up with these kinds of funny stories as today's generation don't prefer much to listen on serious matters. Are we too preoccupied with what we do that if these courses were not made compulsory then we would not even think to attend? and some of us only wanted to go to get that green light to marry? and the girl next to me said that if there was any form of recitation of Quran then she wouldn't have come at all! so is that it? that's why all the ustaz have to be equipped with charms and charisma to attract us all? and what if some ustaz go overboard with the jokes and talk less on what really matters? then my generation would not even be bothered to get to know about talak, fasakh and nusyuz and such. and then all those domestic conflicts happen and that's why there's news that Terengganu has the highest divorce rates and all and whatnot, hmm...


5. Honeymoon is a must! but only for those married couples who can afford it. hehe, I just had to put this statement :p


6. I didn't learn this in pre-marital course but rather from the news but it does seem interesting to insert this - Starting Jan 1 next year, the "mas kahwin" or dowry rate in Selangor will be fixed at RM300. I don't know what to make of this because I thought that RM80 was already a good deal. I hope my future husband would not be burden by this and that I would not allow myself to be swept away by other people's perception on the dowry and the money gift. The dowry can be a part of the "duit hantaran" or money gift but then again, people in Shah Alam have a tendency to want to outbid each other in this era of modernisation and I strongly blame Malaysians' artists and the wealthy rich for this plus it doesn't help that the media publisized the amount.


So what are the requirements in an Islamic Marriage Contract?

1. Groom (check :p)
2. Bride (can't wait :p)
3. Wali (Abah)
4. Ijab Qabul
5. 2 witnesses


and Mama said that I need to brush up on my cooking skills so she wants to add that to an informal list she made for me, tee hee :p