Tumblr is pretty cool huh

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum


I wish I could buy a dslr and it don't cost much coz I could take beautiful pictures and then use adobe, which means Imma gonna hafta learn adobe too, and post meaningful words on the pictures that depicts the significant images and get addicted to Tumblr because I think I am since I don't really have a hobby so Tumblr is my new muse, hmm.


I wanna kickbox but that hobby is expensive too, waa, everything is, and adding to the list is playing the cello, wahh, I gotta stop being all expensive taste :p

but I'll try with a digicam first and hopefully I work it!

4th July Last Year

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

This marks 1 year and not more than that~

and this one is for you...

I'm saying sorry in advance cause this won't always go to plan
Though we don't mean to take our love for granted
It's in our nature to forget what matters
How when the going is getting tough
And we're all about giving up
Things that we never thought we'd gonna say, gonna say them
Things that we never thought we'd play, gonna play them
It ain't perfect, but it's worth it
And it's always getting better
It's gonna take some time to get it right


Cause I'm still learning the art of love
I'm still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out for me
Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love


I know my detail requires more attention
If I ever hurt you it's not my intention
Cause we're gonna make our mistakes
Find out how much your heart can take
But I know that you got my back
And baby I got yours


Sometimes I'm gonna miss
I'm still learning how to give
I'm not giving up
I'm still learning how to love

Women impure are for men impure and men impure are for women impure; and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.
(An-Noor 24:26)

I refuse to believe that I am part of a Lost Generation

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum





Thank you Naeemah!

and I too, don't want to be apathetic and lethargic...

What I Like About You

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum

Yes, yes, the best part about being a teacher is the looooong hols! and I know I should be writing a lot more but I feel uninspired and I wish I have a muse be it by somebody or something but I don't and its not a great feeling :-/


When people ask me where I'm posted to and I tell em Pahang, they would raise an eyebrow because their first presumption would be that Pahang is a looong wayyy from Shah Alam and well, they are quite right because Shah Alam to Gombak takes about an hour. and then when they asked me where in Pahang and they get the answer, both their eyebrows are raised and their eyes bulged out (please notice the hyperbole, haha!). and I betcha that those who do not have an inkling of where exactly I'm posted to would imagine me taking a boat or raft to and fro from my rented house to my school which is funny because I can't envisage myself even in that situation, haha and then receiving elaun susah hati, huhu :p


susah hati tu memangla susah hati but not to the extent of being inadequate. I have a lot to be grateful about and I always remind myself to count my blessings and to commit to my memory that every day, the Palestinians have to fight for their life whereas I'm pretty much okay where I'm at (but then again, the grass is always greener on the other side!).


So what do I like about working in Pahang:


1. The Karak Highway! Yes, I love the challenge the highway gives me! Whenever I drive on this highway, how I wish I have a sport car so that I can speed and drift at every curb and I envy those with such cars as their cars ease their way around the curve and vrooms ahead, oooo, syok tau! It beats driving to the northern and southern states like seriouslyyy!! and I get annoyed when guys look down on women driving in such roads, well, lemme tell you that women too don't break everytime they are nearing the bend!



2. I learn to eat the Patin fish or in English, Silver Catfish, one of the most prized freshwater fishes in Malaysia. My place is near to Temerloh so as the home of the Patin fish, the Temerloh folks have special dishes that bring out the best taste of the fish. Two of my favorites are the ikan patin masak tempoyak and the ikan patin asam rebus and just talking about it makes me drool! Many of my colleagues are surprised that I have taken such a liking to the fish but it tastes sooo good that I make it a point to eat it every Monday (only once a week okay!) because whenever I go back home every weekend, I would miss it, hehe




3. I appreciate that I have a friend who carpools with me every week that we're going back. I get to saved a lot of money especially that I don't go out and buy anything much from Monday to Thursday so most of my $ is spent on travelling to my hometown on Friday after school and from Shah Alam to Pahang on Sunday. We do it like this week she's driving and the next week its my turn to drive and alternately every week! Hence, we are really economizing! Alhamdulillah so far, this is the best perk that I get ever since I'm working in Pahang.


4. Of course, no traffic jams like the ones in KL and sometimes Shah Alam also has mini congestions especially at the roundabouts. Its funny that we still need the police to supervise although there are traffic lights at the roundabouts. Hmm, what does that tell ya about Shah Alam-ians huh...


5. No need for parking tickets in the nearest town.


6. The RM2 store near my house which is also nearby my school suddenly becomes appealing and feels like Jusco, hahaha but on a serious note, there are things that are conveniently found in that dusty shop that if use it with care would beat other branded items!


7. Last but not least, I get to see the hills and the mountaintops and the trees and sometimes the skies are bluer than the ones in the city and I love it everytime I get to see the sun sets and I wish I could stop my car just to observe the breathtaking sight of a yolk slowly diminishing and its just amazing and I love the clouds everytime the sky of Earth has the appearance of a deep blue surface because of the air's scattering of sunlight and the shapes of the clouds, ooo, the members of The Cloud Appreciation Society would be sooo jealous if I tell them of the various beauty of the forms and figures of the clouds found there


Perhaps there are more things that I liked and I am thankful but still, I will enjoy it while I can and it still won't stop me from applying for my T_ _ _ _ _ _ r!


In the meantime, I gotta learn how to cook that appetizing Ikan Patin Masak Tempoyak, wuuu (salivating~)

Interesting Observations.

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



1. A person I know fell sick and she keeps it all to herself and even though she probably thinks she is not troubling anyone but indirectly she is. So my advice would be, don't kid yourself and if you're so ill then be nice and have trust that other people are nicer! Shouldn't be that hard to do huh..


2. A former student of mine, Form 4 now, muslim malay, girl, cute plus smart, she got 6A's in PMR was caught making out with guys and one of em guy videoed her 'doing it'. When a teacher confronted her, she revealed that she has been doing it and needed to do it because she feels satisfied, MasyaAllah~
and she moved school...


3. Most of my Form 3 students in the first class cannot write a good essay for their directed writing and the mid-year exam is at the end of this month!!! Not to mention that PMR is also nerve-racking! Geez, not only am I pissed but I really feel the burden of teaching them the same thing over and over again!! The thing is:


Firstly, they kept doing their mathematics homeworks which just irate the hell out of me! For most of the Chinese students, its an embarassment not to be good in math! yeah, right! Well, its also mortifying that they are not good even in the simplest English! I had to threatened to kick em out of class or rip their books and only then would they blankly stared at me trying ever so hard to understand even simple English, well, boo hoo!


Next, they like to copy. Since they are in the first class and most of them are used to doing homeworks (most of em had their primary education in Chinese schools and SJKC does a lot of drilling and memorizing) therefore I always give em extra exercises. But they tend to wait for one or two of their friends to finished it then most of em would just copy, URGH! SO INFURIATING!! and what's worse, some of em even copy essays, like what the toot right!! How can they possibly think they could get an A and even la, even if they somehow magically able to score an A, I would definitely know better so screw these kind of no-good pupils!! There was this one literature exercise I gave them and out of 37 students in that class, ONLY 2 answered accordingly and out of that 2, ONLY 1 answered correctly and when I asked her how she was able to find the answer, she said she had to refer to workbooks! Well, at least she did some research, sigh, unbelievable laaa students nowadays! and I had to keep her book for A WEEK just so that other students won't be able to copy her answers!


Some of em take up tuition classes so I asked them what they were taught in those paid classes. They told me that a teacher whose not even that good in English would come and teach them for like 3 hours or so but not just the English language but also 6 other subjects!!! and the time allocated for English is the least time! (Slaps Forehead!) argh!!


So I have started to teach them myself personally FOC after school hours and they appreciate it and then at that moment, my heart goes out to them~


Because of their upbringing, because some of their parents are uneducated, because of lack of exposure and experience, because maybe they don't even have to be good in English or maybe because they don't see the need to master the language, because they have no motivation, because they are poor, because they probably have to work after school, because they probably don't even wanna go to school in the first place but they have to, because of so so many reasons and at times, I can't entertain every single friggin basis as to why and why and why...


Because then I also have my why's ...

Have you ever been SO ANGRY in your life that you wanna literally KILL that person?!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum


I should be sleeping right about now but I am FURIOUS yet it happened days ago on Tuesday, April 27th 2010 but my anger has not dissipated and I pray to God to let me forget it...


BUT NOT UNTIL I FIND JUSTICE!!!


The story is that I had to go for a medical checkup and so I went to the nearest government health clinic and it wasn't really because I would get free treatment but it was also convenient plus my colleagues recommended that place. After registering and whatnot, I had to go to the X-ray room.


At first, the guy behind the counter looked and acted okay. He asked me procedural questions like whether I am married or if I am pregnant and blabla and then instructed me to go inside the room.


I thought there would be a lady radiologist waiting for me but then the guy at the counter came in through the other door.


LETS CALL THIS GUY JERK!


Doktor perempuan takde ke?
Doktor perempuan ada jumaat sahaja. nak buat ke taknak? (tone still okay)
Saya buat jela tapi saya nak mintak seorang nurse.
ASAL PULAK?! (raising his voice like WTH right!!!)

Ada masalah ke? saya nak mintak nurse berada dalam bilik ni dengan saya.
Hek eleh! Orang lain biasa je! (raised voice and questioning my rights, STUPID GUY!)

Boleh tak saya nak mintak nurse?! (through gritted teeth)
Yela, yela.


and he went out but he didn't close the door and then he arrogantly talked to his friend:

Hek eleh, budak ni takut plak!


I clenched my fist.


The nurse came and was ever so kind and then when I went out...

Tak baca ke? Mana boleh pakai rantai! (raised voice again the stupid injudicious guy!)

Encik, saya pernah wat X-ray sebelum ni dan saya mintak supaya tak tanggal rantai sebab susah dan amik masa yang lama. Saya hanya perlu gigit je.

Yela, yela.


I haven't done an X-ray in a very long time, like what, it's been 6 years or something so I wasn't familiar with anything. So I just stand waited to be given instructions.


The JERK gave me absolutely NO INSTRUCTIONS but he said to the nurse;

Ko pusingkan budak ni!

and the nurse just dorkily turned me around for the process.

He snapped:

Dengar arahan saya! Ok, tarik nafas!!! (his voice was so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it hurts that I remembered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


When it was over and I had to put my clothes back on, my hand was shaking and I was quivering WITH ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I got clammy and cold and I stormed out...


When he handed me the form, I blurted out:

Awak ni radiologist ke?

He was quiet.


Awak tau tak perubatan dalam Islam kena ada perempuan teman tau!!!

AWAK INGAT AWAK TU SIAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR ATTITUDE IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and for the 1st time in MY WHOLE LIFE, I swore at him in English!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I went out NEVER looking back but was soooooo furious I nearly cried, silly silly me :'(


Every nerve, muscle and the insides of my body, mind and soul were telling me to REPORT right there and then and at that instance BUT I cowardily went back because I was sooooooooooooo weak and I regretted it soooooo bad :'(


So with anger burning inside of me and no signs of forgiveness, the next day, I called the higher authority of that health clinic and I got through straight to the boss, a female doctor who was ever so kind that I cried at her because I was so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I called her on Wednesday and she called me back on Thursday to clarified some things and she reassured me that investigation will be done on Friday so that action will be taken this upcoming week. I said I don't care as long as action will be taken!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I swear to God that I will follow my complaints until I am satisfied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


In my defense, it is not about taking revenge but THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL AND THE ARROGANCE OF A JERK WHO IS JUST A JURU X-RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


like what the TOOT right?????!!!!!!


He not only questioned my rights but I felt like I was assaulted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know that it is pretty difficult to dismiss a government servant, I mean, I am one myself and what with the red tape, investigations and lots of questions and whatever but by all means, I want this to be MY FIGHT AND MY FIGHT ALONE and even though it might be a small matter to some people but this reflect that I refuse to be treated like that and that I don't deserve it and neither does anybody else!!!!!!!!!!! If he treats me like that so rude and proudly contemptuous then I wonder how he treats some other people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Again, this begs the question:


WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????????!!!!!!!!


curse you!



On another note, I need my readers' doa for this anger boiling inside of me to dispel, Ya Allah~


This reminder is especially for me :'(
and yes, it is very very hard to do :'(

Remember that there are means of soothing anger if it arises, which a person may use to help himself become patient. These include:

1 – Remembering Allah, which should make him fear Him; this fear will motivate him to obey Him, so he will resume his good manners, at which point his anger will fade.

2 – He should get out of the situation he is in, so that his anger will dissipate because of his moving away from that situation.

3 – He should remember what anger leads to of regret and the need to apologize.

4 – He should remember the reward for forgiving others and of being tolerant, so he should force himself to overcome his anger, seeking that reward and so as to avoid deserving blame and punishment.

5 – He should remind himself of the way that people like and respect him, and he should not risk losing that because of his anger, so that people change their minds about him. He should know that by forgiving people he will only increase the respect with which they view him.

And Allah is the Source of Strength.

Wallahualam~

I wish I wanted a DSLR

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum






Don't tell me to 'pejam celik pejam celik!' because I get snappy!

SNAP SNAP!! SNAPPITY SNAP!!

or I might just do this to you!

There's a lot of things in my mind right now but I rather talk about NKRA

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



On Wednesday, 3rd March 2010, I didn't have to go to school, whee!! But it wasn't exactly whee!! because I had to wake up early for an interview that's relevant to my career (really?!).


The funniest thing was the interviewer only asked me on NKRA which thankfully I had been studying. But I was a bit exasperated because I was ready to be tested on any CCTS questions but none came so I walked out of the room dissapointed, LOL :p but of course beaming because I answered everything accordingly, InsyaAllah XD


So what did I answered:


National Key Results Areas (NKRAs) have been identified by the government for implementation. They are; enhancing quality of education, upgrading public transportation, reducing corruption, reducing crime, upgrading rural infrastructure and upgrading low income household.


The ambitious plan may certainly look good on paper, but the real challenge for the government – as always – lies in the execution phase. and well, let's just say that - yes, the target is good and yes, it does need a lot of work BUT is it really to the expense of teachers having excessive unnecessary workloads that leads to the latest news?!


Teachers plan demo over irrelevant workload.
(Click for the news)


So what gives?

The investment must achieve the objective of ensuring that each student received optimum education depending on their capacity but what of my lower proficient students? Shouldn't they be exempted from taking PMR and SPM? I wanna avoid saying that they can't do it but my heart breaks everytime they constrain themselves just to get a certificate that, according to a whole lot of people, determines something for them. and what is that something may I ask?


Heck, I believe in some of them but what if this is not from an
inspiring-teacher-really-makes-a-difference-story and what if the reality hits harder than that? and what if you don't know anything because you actually never been there and done that?


and what if I stop using the words what if?


How about I geddit all wrong? But at the same time, I know that without those 2 exams, my students would be much better learners and I don't have to teach my students for exams and do drilling all the time because like I said in my Facebook;


why do people always say that "you need to teach more fun things to your students!" like how much fun can you teach if the rural students just dun geddit and how much more fun can you go if the exam is getting nearer?!


I don't settle and neither should my students. full stop.

You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum



Sometimes when the going gets tough and the tough gets going and I become all messed up, I impatiently want a solution! I don't want conforting or cliche words, I want rapid actions and I throw a tantrum because I want it now and now cannot wait!!


But sometimes the solution is not something that I like. but alas~ it is something that Allah willed it to be~


So this song is very much comforting...


Someday by Rob Thomas


You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

[Chorus]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be so warm

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

But never forget to just Istighfar, be cool, calm and collected and remember Allah all the time :)

What is with you must vanish: what is with Allah will endure. And We will certainly bestow, on those who patiently persevere their reward according to the best of their actions.
An-Nahl [16:96]

I've always wanted a TIGER!

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum


Maybe the lack of updates is because everyone is into Facebook or Twitter nowadays, and blogs are slowly diminishing and only if you are highly entertaining or paid then people would read your blog, huhu, that's probably the case, I mean, nobody would want to read the happenings of an English teacher struggling and grappling in teaching even simple English to her students, sob sob :(


Oh well, this particular English teacher have always wanted a tiger especially after the recent Readers Digest published the article about Christian the Lion, I want! I want!





Of course there are trillions of other videos but I just love this song that matches perfectly to the story, isn't it the most touching thing ever! and its all true I tell ya! I would trade in my car for a lion! I mean, a tiger! hahaha :p


So if there are any occasions that requires you to present me with a gift then you know what I want right? pwetty pls~


But in the meantime, here's my tiger guarding my car for me...and providing the tissues of course!



I miss the one who gave this to me :(